I know I don’t need to apologise, but I want to

I know I don’t need to apologise, but I want to, so let me

I’ve been juggling so many balls for the last few months it was really only time that my arms got tired and I started dropping a few. And one of those happened to be this blog.  I’ve neglected to put any real content into the blog lately, or, at least that’s how I feel.  It’s just I haven’t had it in me, and for me, every post needs to be from the heart, genuine, from some special place.  I struggle to post posts that mean nothing to me, just for the hell of it (or to be seen to be keeping up with some kind of ‘posting schedule’). I think there’s nothing worse than forcing out a post, pressing ‘publish’ and then looking back on it thinking ‘why did I?’.

That’s why I kicked off {this moment} and {this memory}.  I can use precious moments, memories, as triggers to sit down and write something, which for me, is a form of therapy.

I know people have been worried about me, and I thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.  I’m trying hard to look after myself (aside from looking after Denis and others), even though I admit now that I am disappointed to find myself in (kinda) the same position I found myself in 2011 – exhausted, trying to get the eczema on my face under control, trying to focus on my diet (allergy diet), and just a bit down.  Good news is that I have a very supportive employer, client, man, dog, family and friends.  I’m also being kinder to myself, accepting that it’s been a full on few months and that any normal person would be feeling like they had been put through the ringer.

So, lovely readers, please bare with me. I will find a new type of normal soon, and hopefully be blogging with a vengeance even sooner!