I’m feeling a bit ‘blah’ at the moment. A bit stressed. A bit unhealthy. And slightly all over the place.
I’m also really, really tired and am having moments where I want to sit down and cry like a baby.
Okay, I feel like shit. I feel fat and lumpy (and yes, I know ‘fat’ isn’t a feeling but that’s like 30 years of un-conditioning to do – I’m working on it!). My clothes feel tight on me, my skin is itchy and teenager-ish, my innards aren’t feeling quite right, and I’m fucking knackered!
To be honest, I’m not feeling 100% comfortable in my own skin. The only thing that has been feeling good is my hair! I’m rocking my hair at the moment. Oh, and I’m feeling really creative…now that’s awesome! Okay, my nails are growing too so it ain’t all bad as those suckers have been suffering for a couple of years!
When do I feel good about myself?
When I feel good about myself, as in, when I like myself, I actually don’t realise I feel good about myself or happy. Apparently I just ooze that shit and help others feel the same way 🙂 I love feeling good about myself, bumps, lumps and all. Just like JT sang, rock your body.
I feel good about myself when I’m having fun. Fun usually comes unplanned, and it’s generally foolish and stupid. Like two weekends ago when my soon to be 12 year old step son wrapped himself in a bloody blanket and pretended to be a caterpillar and then hid around a corner to try and scare D. I almost literally pissed myself! That is my idea of stoopid, happy F – U – N!
I also feel good about myself when I’m writing. As I write this post I feel happiness emanating from my being. I love writing. It makes me feel whole. It makes me feel real.
Writing + Janine = Happiness.
I’m so thankful that I found my writing voice again…
I’m prone to adult acne, fatigue and a dodgy belly, so when my skin feels good, my stomach / innards feel good and I’m not fatigued I feel healthy and happy. The whole equation doesn’t happen often, but when it does – look out world!
I feel happy when I feel happy. Does that even make sense? Potentially only someone who has experienced depression would understand this one…those waves of happiness are addictive! And if you make me smile and laugh I love you! There is nothing better. Just prepare yourself to receive a lot of looks / stares if you are with me, because I smile big and laugh loud!
Travelling makes me feel good. I guess this is why I love travelling so much, it makes me happy! It liberates my mind and my body. The first time I travelled was the first time I felt comfortable in my own skin and truly happy. It was my introduction to happiness, to who I could be, and to who I was… Travel changed me. It really did.
Planning a wedding is also making me feel good, because, as it turns out, I’m a big girl! Who would have thought I would get excited at the concept of a bloody wedding. Not me! Man. That shit excites me and makes me happy, I can easily spend hours on Pinterest browsing wedding stuff, and my introvert self will happily talk for hours with someone about wedding stuff.
The whole frickin’ thing makes me feel happy – aside from the whole dress concept. Now that shit is freaking this little ripper out!
To sum it up in a nutshell, it’s when I’m living in the moment that I feel happiest in my skin. I guess this is why I love the concept of mindfulness so much.
What about you? When do you feel happiest in your own skin?