It wasn’t until the age of 36 and ¾ when my life was pretty much falling apart that I made a well-needed change.
After living my life either for everyone else or the way everyone else wanted me to live, enough was enough. And so with a hearty ‘Fuck it!’ I handed in my resignation – chucking in my 12 year career in project management – and set out to embark on my new…life.
To be honest this was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make and came after a series of burnouts and near breakdowns. I mean, living the life you want sounds so bloody easy to do but, in reality, it’s really fucking hard. With no savings, skyrocketing anxiety, and crippling fatigue, I was struggling to keep up with life, I was struggling to hold my life together.The thought of leaving my job and changing careers at the age of 36 to do…something…well…I had no faith in myself an no idea of what I wanted to do. I just knew that deep down I needed to make some big decisions. If only I wasn’t so
tired scared to death.
…living the life you want sounds so bloody easy to do but, in reality it’s really fucking hard.
But after my third car accident in a year and a half – the third being in my own driveway, I had no choice.
Seriously, the good old universe was sending me some very clear signs to stop what I was doing ASAP!
After throwing a pity party for myself I enrolled in a mindfulness program to work on my mindlessness problem. This forced me to dig deep and do a hell of a lot of self-analysis, as well as to actually make time to pay some attention to what my body was trying to tell me. Needless to say, my body was not happy. As it turns out, it had been screaming at me for a very long time! Eczema, fatigue, dizziness and forgetfulness. Everything I had pegged down to food allergies after years of research, consulting with specialists, eating plans, diets and supplements, turned out to be as a result of stress. Plain and simple. And so I stopped what I was doing, just like that.
Okay, it wasn’t exactly that easy, but that was the moment I made a vow to myself to prioritise my self care from that moment onwards.
And let me tell you this. Funny things happen when you start tuning in. Well-needed change starts to happen, things start to shift, old doors close, new doors open, and new people enter your life. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we think we should be doing. In what others think we should be doing. In the fear of, well, everything!
I thank the Universe every day for those car accidents and for the fact that they weren’t any worse. I am also grateful for getting another shot at turning my life around, as not everyone is as lucky. I now need to NOT waste it, which leads me to here – this very blog.
It’s taken me a long time to get here, to this place where I am awake and finally looking after myself. Where I am finally starting to do the things I love, to listen to myself, and to live the life I want! I hope you will stick with me, as this life stuff isn’t easy. Actually, it’s more like a rollercoaster.
I do know that it certainly helps to know that others:
1) aren’t perfect,
2) are going through shit, and
3) are surviving.
Hopefully through sharing my story, experiences, tips, and resources with you, I can inspire you to change your life too!
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