A greater global perspective

Todays’ interview for The Beauty of Difference series is with Marie Nikodem Loerzel – writer, mother and world-explorer.

About me: I used to be a professional working in the non-profits in foster care and domestic violence.  That was before my 4 kids came along and I gave it up to be a full time mom. It was also before the opportunity of a lifetime came along and we moved to Morocco, which is when I started my blog about our life here – Rock The Kasbah.

We were living in Colorado Spring, where my husband had a thriving medical practice. But, he also had a wandering eye. So he couldn’t help himself when he saw that the Peace Corps had an opening in Africa. He used to be in the military, so we used to move every couple of years. But since he’d left the army, we’d created our homestead in Colorado and lived there for 5 years. So, our feet were getting really itchy, and we are both very passionate about giving our kids the opportunity to see the world. So that’s how we ended up here.

You are a woman after my own heart, being an avid traveller and all. Do you recall what initially sparked your interest in exploring the world?

My dad was an airline pilot, so travel was always part of my life. But, it really started the summer after I graduated high school and I went on a trip to Holland for 3 weeks, and I came home with a boyfriend – who after 4 years of a long distance relationship became my husband. So I would say that that was the spark that ignited the fire. Good thing too, because travel is a huge part of our lives. In the army we got to live in some cool places like Hawaii and Germany. Then, when it was time to add kids to the equation, I’d known from working in foster care how many children needed homes. So the decision to adopt was easy. The bigger decision was from where. Since I’d always been fascinated by Russia and took some Russian in college it just seemed to fit. Mother Russia has a whole other meaning in our house.

You and your family have been living and traveling in Morocco for a few years now. What kick-started this journey for you and your family?

We’ve been in Morocco for two years now and we’ll be moving back to the states this summer. When the Peace Corps came calling our oldest was in 5th grade and our youngest was headed into kindergarten. We figured it was a good time to move before the oldest started middle school, because the older he gets the harder it would be. And our youngest was old enough to remember it when we moved back. So the timing seemed perfect.

How have your kids handled it?

Well, of course timing never is perfect, but there is no perfect time for anything. It was a huge adjustment for the kids. Everything here is different. Standing in queue is a foreign concept, as is customer service, road rules and hygiene. And that’s the short list. My oldest by far had the most difficulty adjusting to life here. He has started and ended many conversations with the words “I hate Morocco”.

The kids school has also been a challenge and hasn’t always met the kids needs. We even discussed leaving Morocco early because of it. But, in the end we decided the cultural experience was worth sticking it out. I feel like we’ve just figured out how things work and now it’s almost time to leave.

My husband and I knew that in the short term this would be hard for the kids. But, that in the long term it would be character building and give them greater global perspective. We’ve done a lot of travelling outside of Morocco too. They have have become excellent travellers and really notice subtle differences from place to place. One of our favourite things to do in a new country is go to the grocery store. It’s completely fascinating!

What are two key things that you have learnt along the way?

  1. Always check and see if you need a visa before you travel. That lead to one of our biggest midadventures.
  2. The second thing a sense of humor is a must, with or without the visa.

From what I have witnessed, many people who get married and have kids ‘settle down’ and don’t believe that they can ‘uproot’ their family and take them some place else on a lengthy adventure. But you have, and I admire you for it. I think your children’s lives, especially, will be so much more enriched for it. Why would you recommend this experience to other families?

Travelling brings all those history books to life. Besides being a really fun adventure that will bring your family closer together, it’s a tactile supplement to academics. This spring we finally made that second trip to Egypt, right after the revolution mind you. Coincidentally, my oldest was studying Egypt in social studies. I’d never seen him so engaged in learning before. So everywhere we went he was anxious to share everything he knew and we let him be our tour guide. He was even thirsty to know more when we got home. Seeing him so excited was worth the price of the two trips it took to get there.

You have a love for belly dancing. I have tried it, but can’t get my hips and knees to move! What ignited your interest in this and how long have you been doing this? Why do you love it so? Will you keep it up when you go home…wherever that may be.

Before we left Colorado I was doing roller derby. I knew I’d have to give that up when we moved. And I wasn’t happy about it. So I decided I’d take up something new here. Since belly dancing originated in this part of the world I decided what better way to get some more local culture. I started the week I arrived and take a class twice a week with an Egyptian teacher I adore. I had never had a dance class before ever. And I have never been graceful. Did I mention the class is in French and Arabic (neither of which I speak)? Despite all these obstacles, I learned to dance. Now I can’t listen to Arabic music sitting down and frequently dance in my house, as you know. So now I’m in a conundrum. When we move back to the states will it be back to roller derby, belly dance or both? I have no idea.

We are members of the same personal blogging group (PBAU). I love personal blogging as I feel it allows a greater degree of flexibility and freedom, and it can so much more heat felt and raw. Why do you love PERSONAL blogging so much?

I agree about the flexibility and freedom and both of those are very important to me as a mother. But as someone who is really shy, it’s also a great way to express myself and my creativity.

“We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”

- Jimmy Carter

After getting to know you in the PBAU, and by following your blog, I can see that you go out of your way to experience ‘different’ things in life, be it food, clothing (Day in a Burqa), belly dancing, camping in Africa, and so on. What gives you such a lust for life?

Coffee. And knowing that sometimes you just have one shot to do things or experience things. And you can’t sit around and wait for your opportunity, sometimes you just need to make your own.

Why do you believe it is important for each and every one of us to get out there and explore the world and the people in it?

Because tomorrow it’s all going to change. Even if you go the same place twice, it’s never quite the same. There are always new people to meet and they can tell you far more than any guide book can. And that’s what travel is all about. Connecting.

Why Should You Join The Beauty of Difference in 2012?

If you would like to be a part of The Beauty of Difference series in 2012, the doors are open. All you have to do is contact me on janine.ripper@gmail.com.

Recapping what the series is about: It is about sharing stories from different people with diverse backgrounds and lives, and in doing so capturing the beauty of diversity and hopefully making a difference in someone’s life along the way.

In case you missed the series in 2011, you can find a recap of some of the posts from 2011 here.

And just in case you think you don’t have anything to share, or that your story couldn’t possibly make a difference, I will leave you with this thought:

There never were in the world two opinions alike, no more than two hairs or two grains; the most universal quality is diversity

- Michel de Montaigne French Philosopher & writer

Highlights from 2011

As 2011 comes to a close, it’s time to reflect on the year that has passed.  And this wouldn’t be complete without reflecting on the year that was on Reflections From a Red Head.

Here are the top 7 posts from 2011:

The most popular post by far for 2011 was the short and sweet post titled ‘I’d rather forget things that I have done, rather than the things that I have not done.’  It was posted in July 2011, and even today still rates holds it’s place as one of the top two posts read every day on Reflections from a Red Head.

The second most popular post, just behind numero uno, is a simple little post about the effect a mosquito can have…’If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito‘.

Inner Beauty Shining Bright‘ is an important post to me, personally, as it was the first post for The Beauty of Difference series – the write-up of an interview I did with my dear friend Siti. Starting the series in September 2011, my vision was to share different stories, of different people, doing different things, and making a difference along the way.  I can truly say that the stories people have entrusted in me to share throughout the last four months of 2011 have succeeded in showing me a new path and in changing my life.  I feel truly blessed.

The most commented on post for 2011 was a guest post (only just!!) from the awesomeness that is Hajra Khatoon!  ’Knowledge is the key to tolerance‘ was a post from Hajra, where she bared her heart and soul for The Beauty of Difference series.  Thank you my friend :)

One of my favourite photo-posts from 2011 is ‘The River‘, as this is when I really started pushing myself – you know, ‘looking outside the box’ and that kind of guff.  Once I took these photos I actually started believing in my ability (and the compliments I got on some of the photos helped too :) ).

What I believe was the most powerful post from a guest blogger in 2011 on Reflections From a Red Head was from Abdul Mateen.  Up until Abdul, I had featured the stories of many Muslim women.  With Abdul, he shared with us the experiences and beliefs of a Muslim man.  When I first read the his post ‘The Beauty of Difference’, I was blown away – the eloquence, the power, the strength and beauty in the way the words were sewn together.

The final post I share with you was one where I shared a wake up call of sorts.  In the last few months of 2011 I realised that I couldn’t keep living the way I was living, as I wasn’t really living.  I was just getting by – barely. ‘It’s Time to be Gentle on Myself Body Mind and Soul‘ was a an angst-riddled post from me sharing how I had been feeling, and making a public pledge that I was changing my life. I didn’t know it then but this turned into a weekly – and then bi-weekly post on my attempts, failures, successes, and tips ‘Body, Mind and Soul’.  I do hope for this to continue into 2012, along with a new addition – a weekly post from my Diary of the Dietary Challenged.

What do you think?

What was your favourite post on Reflections From a Red Head in 2011?

What would you like to see more of on Reflections From a Red Head in 2012?

Who would you like to see profiled in ‘The Beauty if Difference’ series in 2012?

And is there something else you would like to see covered / written about / photographed?

Feel free to leave a comment, or email your feedback to janine.ripper@gmail.com.

I’m looking forward to 2012! I hope you are too :)

Oneness is the Secret of Everything

Today’s guest post in ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series is from Samantha Bangayan, a Canadian freelance-writer, editor, translator and creator the blog ‘What Little Things’.

 

“All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything.”

– Swami Vivekananda

I have always felt different. I think we all do at times.

My parents moved to Canada when I was only 6 months old. Like typical immigrants, our household became a mesh of generations and cultures: Chinese (blood), Filipino (birth), and Canadian (environment).

A First Taste Of Canada, Photo by Samantha Bangayan

Though I was an immigrant baby growing up amidst the immigrant community of Vancouver, I never seemed to fit snugly into a group. Some immigrants were highly conservative while others were too liberal for me. My parents added an extra layer of complexity as they were a rather odd, inexplicable mix of both extremities. I have never found the right balance among my values: respect for elders, community responsibilities, familial honor, independence, autonomy, and freedom.

Maybe that’s what encouraged me to travel – to force myself to stop running around in circles and instead, find the openness to learn more about others and myself.

A First Taste Of Japan - Photo by SamanthaBangayan

I was surprised by how the same we all are. My Thai dorm-mate in Japan pondered the meaning of life with me. The American who has lived for four years here in Peru has a family member with a developmental disorder too and misses him just the same.

A First Taste Of Peru - Photo by Samantha Bangayan

What I’m growing to realize is that there will always be moments that we feel different from each other no matter how similar we are in ethnicity, education, culture, or any other facet. But this never has to result in barriers because there is also always something we can find in common with another even if just as human beings.

I imagine humans on different pages of a book that can be read left-to-right (like how you’re reading this right now) but also right-to-left (such as in Arabic, Hebrew, Chinese, and Japanese). There is no beginning or end, no positive or negative poles, and we move through the pages, back-and-forth, writing our stories in life’s big book as we learn, grow, and develop.

An event may put us on the same page as someone we originally thought to be so different from us. Similarities and differences remain. That’s what makes us individuals. It’s what makes each of us so unique.

If you would like to be a part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series, please contact me at janine.ripper@gmail.com.

I would love to share your story.

Snapshot of The Beauty of Difference series

Today I thought I’d provide you a snapshot of some of the heart-felt and inspirational posts that have been shared as part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series right here on Reflections From a Red Head.

In case you missed the meaning behind the series, I started it as an attempt to share with the greater world the stories of some of the amazing people I know from all over the world who are ‘different’ for some way or another.  So far people have shared their personal experiences with depression, bullying, racism, finding their identity, chasing their passions and learning to love themselves for who they are.

I had hopes to at least help a few people ‘see’.  I have been blown out of the water by each and every person who has shared their story with me, the stories themselves as well as those that have stepped by, read the posts and those that have taken the time to leave comments.

So here is a selection for you to sink your teeth into:

Inner Beauty Shining Bright: The first post in the series is special to me as, well, it was the first one, and after all it was a piece about a beautiful friend of mine – Afifah Mohd Salehan.

Stained, written by beautiful blogger Marie Loerzel from Rock the Kasbah. When I received this post via email from Marie my breath was taken away by how beautifully written it was.

The Beauty of Difference is…a stunning poem contributed by Calisha Bennet, from Diamonds of Islam.

The post that has received the most visits so far is Its About Damn Time I Like Me by the awesome Lalia Voce from Skank Rattle and Roll.

And the latest – The Beauty of Difference – by Abdul Mateen, of which one reader referred to as ‘absolute poetry’.

I hope you enjoy the selection, and please feel free to leave comments!

Also, if you are interested in participating, do not hesitate to contact me directly.

Janine

x

EVERYTHING HAS ITS BEAUTY BUT NOT EVERYONE SEES IT - CONFUCIUS

 

Don’t settle for being normal – be EXTRAORDINARY!

Today’s post for The Beauty of Difference series comes to you from Calisha Bennett, the writer behind the poem ‘The Beauty of Difference is…‘, of which she gave me the privilege of sharing with you on 11 October 2011. Calisha is also the creator and blogger at ‘Diamonds of Islam‘.

About Calisha

I am a 26-year-old, Australian born Muslim woman. My father is ‘Aussie’ and my mum is from Christmas Island. My dad embraced Islam when he was 22 and he married my mum not long after. I am happily married and am a home schooling mother of 3 beautiful children aged 8, 4 and 1. I also teach Quran recitation classes, run exercise classes, a teenage youth group and volunteer for different organisations when I can. I like to think of myself as a ‘freethinker’ and I continuously strive to discover the best ways of living life through education, research and taking from the wisdom of others (rather than simply ‘following the masses’).

Passion

I am passionate about my faith – Islam, and raising awareness of it’s true teachings and dispelling myths and misconceptions that are often portrayed by the media and those with dishonourable agendas. I am also passionate about child raising and holistic education and how important it is that children are raised with the ability to think deeply about things in life rather than living a shallow, materialistic existence. I am passionate about health and wellbeing particularly in our day and times where the majority of people are not aware that the illnesses which are the major causes of death and disease are directly related to our diet and lifestyle. I could go one but I’m passionate about everything in life really!

Difference

I don’t really see myself as ‘different’, as strange as that may sound. I feel as though I belong where I am and am comfortable with who I am and choose to be (whilst still wanting to grow and change for the better). I am however, aware that I may ‘seem’ as different to others because when I go out and I wear my Hijab (hair cover/scarf) people will look at me as being foreign – a migrant perhaps who speaks very little English. So I often feel underestimated. When I go out, I personally feel normal and like any other ‘Aussie’. This is where I grew up, this is my country and being an Australian Muslim is the only identity I’ve ever known and am proud of. So I guess it’s being Muslim that makes me different in Australia.

Experiences

Being part of the Muslim minority in Australia, our community really does cop some harsh racism and ill-treatment.  I have heard many negative stories from other Muslims and some much, much more hurtful than my own. I myself have quite a few stories, but I’ll mention a few examples of experiences.

Back in high school, I would be asked so many questions about ‘what I was’, why I wore that thing on my head and often got sarcastic comments that would get on my nerves. There were times in my adult studies where I could feel I wasn’t being included by other class members who were almost ignoring me so I had to really put myself out there and make conversation.

It’s sad to think that people would treat you so differently just because you wear a piece of fabric on your head. I’ve had people yell out at me from their cars while I am walking down the street. They’d yell things like ‘Go back to where you came from!’ or ‘Take that thing off your head!’ or my favourite ‘You terrorist!’ Even until now, when I am walking with my kids it still happens and they have an awful fright. It really upsets me when the kids have to witness or are victims of this type of treatment.

But on a positive note – the lovely, accepting and good-hearted people that I have met always manage to give me hope for the future of society. These are the people you look forward to meeting throughout the day and sharing smiles and conversation with! They make the world a better place!

Knowledge

I really want people to know that just because they don’t understand another person or their culture or faith, it doesn’t they have to be scared of it. Rather they should want to learn more about those who are different in order to appreciate their good points and to better understand others. Also I would want more people to question what they are fed by the society, the media and educational institutions. I want others to have a thirst for seeking AUTHENTIC knowledge and information as opposed to propaganda, falsified news reports, inauthentic historical facts, theories being taught as if they are ‘fact’ and so on.

Having an open, free thinking mind is something we should all aspire to attain because only then will we be able to accept the differences of others and be open to seeking the truth about the world we live in. Only with a free mind can we be true to ourselves and become accountable for our lives rather than being so easily influenced to think or live according to what is ‘expected’ and regarded as ‘normal’ to society. I say why settle for being ‘normal’? Rather be EXTRAORDINARY!

Celebrating Difference

By celebrating each other’s differences we will learn to accept one other as individuals and to nurture within ourselves positive character traits such as respect, tolerance, humility, acceptance and more. Being different is what makes our world such an exciting place to live. There are so many places to see, people to meet, foods to taste, cultures to embrace and more!

I think that the dislike of people who are different comes from traits such as pride and arrogance. This is where individuals are so ignorant of the world around them that they feel threatened by anything different and need to take the stance of being of a higher worth than the foreign other. But if they could just come back down to earth and realise they had absolutely no choice or power whatsoever in deciding who or what they would be born into this world as! Reality check! Good morning sunshine!

Words of Wisdom

I love a verse from the Quran in Chapter 13, Verse 28 where Almighty God says:

“Only in the remembrance of God will your heart find peace”.

In times where many are pursuing happiness and peace in temporal pleasures like material wealth, social status, external appearances, intoxicants and other things, I feel that true peace is in recognising and being thankful to the One True Creator of all that exists. Just remembering throughout the day, in good times and bad, that everything you go through is from God, can give you so much strength and calmness to get through the toils of life.

For me, knowing that everything around us has a purpose, from the trees, to water, to animals, to computers, to clothing, to insects, to a simple table – everything we see around us has a purpose. So to know that the highest and most intelligent of creation in this world – we human beings – must have a purpose (submission to God) is a truly liberating and peaceful realisation.  By submitting to one God, I feel as though I free myself from slavery or submission to anything/anyone else and that’s why I love Islam so much.

The Beauty of Difference is…

The following poem comes to you from Calisha Bennett - a Muslim woman, mother, friend and fellow Young Women’s Leadership Program graduate (2010).  Calisha amazes me with her heart, knowledge, integrity, sense of peace and wisdom.  I’m honoured to be able to share this with you as part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series.   

The beauty of difference is that we were not all created the same,

We are different in our looks, cultures, personality and name.

If we were all alike, what a boring world it would be,

I would be like you and you would be just like me.

When we are all different, we can learn many things about each other,

And with the insight gained we can respect one another.

God made us all unique, we are original on our own,

Our individual beauty is found within us alone.

From the specks of colour in our eyes,

to the curves of our nose,

to our one and only fingerprint

And shape and size of our toes.

We all have may differences, but it really shouldn’t matter,

We should be protecting each other’s hearts rather than causing them to shatter.

God made us into many nations, races and tribes*

So that we’d get to know each other all throughout our lives.

Not one human being in existence ever chose their looks or race,

What we have was decreed by God, who is indeed so full of Grace.

You see everything we are and were born to be is all with thanks to Him,

We’ve got to resist pressures from society and dissatisfaction from within.

The same thing goes for anyone you know who might be different from you,

Whilst they may look, act or speak very foreign, remember they are human beings too.

God doesn’t judge your outer appearances, rather He judges what’s in your heart.**

Don’t worry about looks, focus on character and you’re off to a great start.

The truest of beauty is the goodness that resides within us all,

And if we put aside all of our differences, this goodness will unite us all.

When you next look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What do you see?”

Say, “Indeed I see someone truly beautiful, I can see goodness residing in me.” 

* Quran 49:13 – “Oh Mankind! We have created you all male and female and have made you nations and tribes so that you would recognize each other. The most honorable among you in the sight of God is the most pious of you. God is All-knowing and All-aware.”

** The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said, “Allah looks not at your figures, nor at your outward appearance but He looks at your hearts and deeds.”(Muslim)

 

For more from Calisha, delve into her blog Diamonds of Islam.

If you would like to be a part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series, please contact me at janine.ripper@gmail.com.

I would love to share your story. 

 

 

A Richer, More Colorful Life for the Color Blind

Today’s post in ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series comes to you from Joy Page Manuel, who describes herself as ‘a former academic, currently a blogging mom, aspiring writer, astrophysicist, gazillionaire philanthropist and goddess, and undoubtedly a perpetual dreamer, hopeless romantic, and overanalyzer.’

Find more from Joy on her blog Catharsis!

 

In mulling over this series The Beauty of Difference, it suddenly occurred to me that all my life, I have felt ‘different’.  There was always something that somehow made me feel like I didn’t fit in.  Was it always a bad thing?…Perhaps not.  Did it make life a little harder for me?…sometimes I think so.  But honestly, I don’t think I would have it any other way for it strengthens who I am and paves the way for even more growth.

My Heritage

I am Filipino, born and raised in the Philippines, and though I currently live in the United States and became a US citizen in 2008, I would have to say that my primary sense of identity and consciousness remain very much Filipino.  I lived in Metro Manila (the main metropolitan region of the Philippines) until the age of 30 when I had to permanently migrate to the US due to marriage.  I come from a Filipino middle-class family which more or less translates to (1) being born and raised a Catholic; (2) valuing education and not obtaining a degree (college or even beyond) was never an option; (3) having parents who subscribe to (more or less) conservative / traditional values; and (4) being quite sheltered from, though never left unaware of, the “harsher face” of my country.  You see, being privileged or being an outsider gives you this face…

…or this…

…while there is also this face that should never be ignored, denied or forgotten….

Much like any developing or third-world country, the Philippines has a very uneven development, with the rich getting richer and the poor losing even more hope for a better life every single minute.  Though in theory, social mobility is open to everyone, in reality opportunities are very limited for the underprivileged.

Despite the widespread poverty, it always surprises foreigners when they find that almost all Filipinos, regardless of social class, can understand and even speak basic English, at the very least.  I guess this is why as far as tourism goes, the Philippines has always been an easy choice for foreigners since communication is very manageable.  I would attribute this to our colonization history, which in turn shaped our education institution (among countless other things) and also our mass media.  The Philippines is very much exposed to Western ideas, most especially American.  You turn on our televisions and you’ll see a lot of American shows being aired.  You listen to the radio and you hear a lot of songs by American artists.  Hollywood films are extremely popular and sometimes even shown in Manila a day or two ahead of their US opening.

Western books, journals and other reference materials are used in our schools.  English is taught in schools and when I was a student, our teachers all spoke and taught in English, save for our Filipino language, Philippine literature and history classes.  As part of the Sociology faculty in the university, I taught primarily in English, I guess mainly because it was easier to some extent given that I used reference books written in English.  (It would’ve been exceptionally difficult teaching the grand Sociological theories in Filipino although I think that would be very elegant indeed!).

Somehow it cracks me up when some Americans get so surprised with my fluency with the English language.  Honestly, when they remark at how well I speak, or that I even speak English, I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted because some of them seem to have a very backward idea about my country.  From experience, those whom I’ve heard make such remarks are always those who have not travelled much or have not had any exposure to other cultures.

My (slightly different) Heritage

I can’t talk about my heritage without mentioning that I am what Filipinos label as ‘mestiza’ or having mixed ancestry. My maternal grandfather was American making my mother half-American. As such, I don’t have the typical Asian look which in a way makes me stick out a bit. Living in the Philippines, I would have to say that the most difficult part about my physical difference is that most other Filipinas are petite and I am obviously not. I always felt insecure about my body and never felt comfortable enough with it to tell myself that I am beautiful just as I am.  I grew up hating my body shape, my bigger frame, bone structure and the extra weight I carried and convinced myself that unless I can look like everyone else, slim and as close to ‘petite’ as I could get, can anyone really find me attractive and desirable.

As I grew older and a little wiser, I understood that I was not as deviant as I had labeled myself to be and that maybe it’s society’s standards that are skewed and that it’s all relative.  I remember thinking If I lived in the U.S., I would probably be closer to the ‘normal’ size and finally be able to find clothes that fit well”.

Well, I got my wish and ended up migrating.  But as with most things in life, something new always comes up and you end up wishing you hadn’t made that previous wish…

After Shape Comes Color

When I first got here to the States to live permanently, I honestly did not anticipate any major difficulties as far as adapting is concerned.  Other than missing family and friends, and getting anxious over leaving all that was familiar to me back home, I felt confident that I came from a society that was very much exposed to American culture.  I’ve also visited the States before as a tourist so somehow I knew what to expect.  I spoke the language and my degrees all translated to the U.S. equivalent so credentials won’t be an issue.  Culture shock was not at all in my mind.  And really, it never happened to me.  Or at least not to the extent or form I had anticipated.  What I was not prepared for was the realization that not everyone in America was prepared for me.  It was a shock realizing that in these modern and even post-modern times, in a society that prides itself for being open and diverse, racism still exists.  And it is very subtle which makes it even more dangerous.  Often I think that most racists either don’t know that they are one or won’t admit it, but you’ll see it in their looks, body language and seep through the words they spew.

I feel it when I’m lined up at a store and the cashier is remarkably chatty with every single white person checking out until my turn comes.  Even when I say ‘hello’ with a big smile, I get nothing but a cold acknowledgment.

I resented it when I felt dismissed by some mothers in a playgroup I joined a few years ago.  It was a huge deal for me given that I am not a very social person and I made so much effort to go out of my shell and be friendly.  I forced and trained myself to be the one to approach rather than wait to be approached.  I tried to overcome my fear of being in new situations with people unfamiliar to me and attended play dates for both me and my son to meet potential friends.  However it did not take long for me to realize that I was not being given a fair chance.  Some of the moms just congregated by themselves and I did not see any effort on their part to make me feel included.  If anything, I felt like they were just waiting for me to feel uncomfortable so I would leave on my own.  I remember one particular play date where the host herself practically ignored me the whole time and when it was time for me and my son to leave her house, she just casually nodded her head, barely even looked at me, and waved her hand in a very dismissive manner as she chatted with another mom from the group.

At that point, I thought, “That’s it.  This is just not worth it”.  I had joined hoping to make new friends, but instead ended up with the realization that friendships will never be easy for me from this point on because of my ethnicity, because of assumptions certain people make about me just by looking at me.  I have not totally given up and still know the value of opening myself to new situations.  However, this time I won’t have false hopes and won’t expect too much too quickly from too many people.  It is a fact that not everyone is evolved enough, prepared enough for the richness that can be found in diversity.

A Realistic Optimism 

There will always be something that would make us feel different and set us apart from the rest.  It could be something physical, political, religious, or moral.  But uniqueness and the diversity this creates should be celebrated, for amidst diversity is the capacity for tolerance nurtured and deeper enlightenment becomes possible.  This is how we can evolve as human beings, able to accept each other for our essences, blind to how we are packaged, shaped and colored.  You could be turning away from a potential loyal friend, wise mentor, or the love of your life if you shun anyone that appears different from you.  You’ll just never know unless you become open.

Our utopic world, where differences are embraced and equality is genuinely alive, is not quite here yet, so as I had written previously, in the meantime I think it’s best for us to remain realistic and be aware of the continued presence of prejudices, yet doing our best to aim for more evolved minds.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here again…

Navigate the world knowing that race (still) does matter, but behave like it does not.


Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Ambreen, a dear friend of mine.  

I got to know Ambreen through work, and during a 6 month-long Young Women‘s Leadership Program in 2010 (with 23 other women from cultural and linguistically diverse backgrounds). It was an amazing experience, of which I am thankful that along with learning a lot, the program resulted in the development of many beautiful friendships, as well as the strengthening of the friendship I have with Ambreen. It has also paved the way for the start of this series titled ‘The Beauty Of Difference’. 

Heritage

I have a fairly multicultural background. I am about 3rd or 4th generation born Kenyan, and my ancestry can be traced to the Middle East, Asia and even all the way back to East Europe.

Coming from a mixed background, and also not entirely ‘belonging’ in one particular place, I have chosen to take the principles of my religion as my culture (although background / culture and religion are two different things). I choose to be known as a Muslim first, because this allows me to be a human being first, and then sub divided into different races, backgrounds, etc.

Coming to Australia

I was born and raised in Kenya, and moved to Australia in 2004 when I was 19, with my Mum, Dad and elder Brother. Before coming to Australia, I had never been to another country – not even for a visit. So Australia was the first overseas country I ever traveled to. I came in peak summer and it was really warm and everything was brand new. I struggled with this for a while.

Perth, Australia

What I liked about Australia was how laid-back things were. Things are so fast passé even in Africa, but coming to the city of Perth, well – there was a certain peace.

The most challenging part about the move was trying to learn everything from scratch. From getting used to the currency, the roads (I can’t tell you how many times we have gotten lost), to some heavy Australian accents.

Cultural Beauty

The most beautiful thing about my culture is the importance the family unit plays. Our family members are always at the forefront of every decision, every occasion and every difficult moment in our lives. Children grow up knowing each other, and always have support they can rely on. Nowadays, where peer pressure, bullying, etc. are a challenge in society, I do believe that having a solid family support system allows children to grow up to become stronger adults.

Tradition

One of my favourite traditional events is a religious event, and that is the month of fasting. In Arabic, it is called Ramadan. It is a month where we give up food and drink during the day (day light hours only). This teaches us self-control, humility, empathy towards the less fortunate, along side being in the worship of God.

The reason it is my favourite event is not only because of the cleansing of the body (physically and spiritually – and subsequent fat loss), but because of the thought that every Muslim around the world is taking part in the global event at the same time, an event that brings us all together regardless of language, location, financial status, etc.

Cultural Misconceptions

As mentioned before, having taken my religion (Islam) as my culture, it is no surprise that the one thing that is a misconception is the idea that Islam is radical and that Islam preaches ideas of terror.

Fortunately, it is just that – a misconception. Islam actually teaches peace, and promotes intellect and reasoning. It also teaches the value of human beings, as is stated in the following verse in the holy book – the Quran:

“Whoever kills a person [unjustly]…it is as though he has killed all mankind. And whoever saves a life, it is as though he had saved all mankind.” (Qur’an, 5:32)

The Beauty In Difference

I share with you quote from the Holy Quran to show why it is important to embrace difference:

“O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)”.

Knowledge Sharing

The one thing I believe people should know is of the respect that Muslim men and women have for the opposite gender. It is because of this respect that we avoid physical contact with people outside the family. It is the case of being aware of ones personal space and it is for that reason that many do not shake hands with the opposite sex. It is not out of disrespect, but on the contrary - out of respect and humility

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

The picture I am sharing is one of the grand mosque in Mecca. The reason I choose this picture is that this shows the celebration of multiculturalism.

the grand mosque, mecca

I visited this mosque several years ago, and stood shoulder to shoulder with people from different races and backgrounds, some who I could communicate with in English, while others spoke a different language.  However there was still peace and understanding. The picture tries to capture the unity celebrated in this vicinity; the white and black specs are in fact people. At one time, there can be about 3 million people gathered.

Words of Wisdom

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it. Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished.“

— Imam Bukhari’s Book of Muslim Manners

This quote for me is just a reminder of the importance of being kind to one another, and is a reminder of kindness.

If you would like to be a part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series, please contact me at janine.ripper@gmail.com.

I would love to share your story.

Just because it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, doesn’t mean it’s a duck – Amanda Joseph

Amanda Joseph

Today’s post in ‘The Beauty Of Difference’ series comes to you courtesy of Amanda Joseph, the inspirational creator and writer of the blog Confessions of a Green Queen.

Amanda describes herself as ‘a writer (for film), a philosopher at heart, an environmentalist and a globe-trotter’ and is currently undertaking a Master of Science in Sustainability Management, juggling full-time work as an Environment Officer, as well as branching out into the film industry.

Heritage

My heritage is a mixed bag. My Great-Grand Mother on my Father’s Father’s side is from Scotland, and my Great-Grand Mother on my Father’s Mother’s side has Yugoslavian and Portuguese - and of course we have Indian. My Step Mom is French-Canadian, and I lived there for a while. So I actually identify myself as Australian-Canadian in culture, whilst my accent decides to do a jig between Canadian, English and Australian!

Cultural Beauty

The most beautiful thing about my culture is the mixture. I’ve picked my favorite parts of each and amalgamated them into one! We love food. All social gatherings are around food, wine and laughter. Canadians are quite progressive and egalitarian by nature and very friendly and accommodating. Australians are very laid-back and are happy to lend a helping hand when needed. And boy can they throw a great party! French Canadians, or Québécois as they prefer to be called, identify with their French heritage, which means we adopted a lot of the French heritage into our own traditions.

Tradition

Canadian Christmases would be one of my favorite events of the year. I love, love, love going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve and walking out to find snow floating down to cover everything. It was so magical, it made sitting through the mass at an ungodly hour worth it. And then the family would throw a massive party that lasted all hours of the morning, and the first person to go home, usually around 4.30am would have to serve the family breakfast on Christmas morning, around 8am when we would rock up. It was brilliant. Halloween is another favorite. We always went all out on Halloween in Canada, and I miss the traditions around that festival. I’d still be trick or treating if I were there!

 Cultural Misconceptions

I don’t think there are too many misconceptions about Canadians. Or at least none that I have come across. French Canadians are usually considered quaint by our French counterparts, but I say we kept the language French whilst they anglicised it. Weekend is an English word, the French one is fin-de-semaine!

 Knowledge Sharing

The one thing I think people need to understand is just because it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, doesn’t mean it is a duck!

My background is fairly unique, and my constant travelling means I have adopted the traditions of a few cultures into one that is very individual. I commonly get mistaken for Indian until I open my mouth, because of my skin colour. I think in an increasingly globalised world, the safest bet is not to assume where someone is from. So do not start speaking to me in Hindi when you’ve just met me that’s just plain offensive.

The Beauty In Difference

Difference is what makes the world such an interesting place to be. I couldn’t imagine a world where we were all the same. I’d be bored out of my mind!

A respectful approach to cultural differences is imperative. Never assume someone is willing to share that part of themselves. It can be tricky because we’ve all experienced racial prejudice at some point or another and that’s given us a tendency to keep things close.

Words of Wisdom

I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stifled. I want all the cultures of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

- Mohandas K Ghandi

This is one of my favorite quotes. It celebrates diversity, whilst encouraging each individual to maintain their own unique culture. Just because you are open to other cultures, does not mean you lose your own.

If you would like to be a part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series, please contact me at janine.ripper@gmail.com.

I would love to share your story.