Tag Archives: Life

As one chapter closes, another opens

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As the pages turn, the story progresses, characters evolve and the chapters come and go – until the story comes to it’s end, or it leads to the inevitable follow up…or two…or three…and so on.

This evening I see the conclusion of another chapter in my life.  I feel a sense of happiness mixed with a twinge of sadness, combined with some nervousness, fear (of the unknown) and something…

Ever since I left the job that almost ruined me in September 2011 I have struggled to recover from my scars.  But as I sit here tonight, I can truly say that I have bounced back, and it is thanks to the support of some wonderful people.

In October 2011 I landed a part-time job that I was not ready for, as my mind and body was exhausted.  But I took it on, and I found myself welcomed by some fantastic colleagues, and experiencing a workplace that redeemed my faith in workplaces.  I’ll admit it now – I didn’t go in there to make any friends.  I was burnt out, and all I wanted was a place where I could recover whilst doing my job, and not having to suffer at the hands of egomaniacal white-collar workers.

6 months later, I find myself in a better place both physically and mentally with a new found faith in workplaces and a new found faith in myself to do what I know I can but had held myself back from.  The twist is that I have also had to say a ‘not-goodbye’ [as I refuse to say g....ye] to those same colleagues.

Sure, it hasn’t all been roses, which was bought home to me this week when I discovered the lilies I am allergic too in the building foyer (which also remind my of my ex-boyfriend…hmmm).  There has been the odd moments of stress, busyness, quietness, run-ins, combined with the struggles of trying to find something gluten-free to eat in my lunch-breaks whilst giving up coffee and dairy, and taking a break from alcohol. How much more anti-social could I get!

But I like to think it has been mostly roses…culminating in a pleasant evening with some laughs, conversation and drinks (I even allowed myself to indulge in a few alcoholic beverages).

On the drive home (Denis drove – I was a passenger in the care) I commented to Denis that  I cannot remember the last time whereby I have been able to stay up late on consecutive nights, function and be productive the next day – coming home to entertain exercising or cooking (like last night!) or cleaning or writing, then doing some more work, playing with the dog, chatting with Denis, staying up past 9.30, watching TV, reading a book, sleeping and then getting up the next morning kinda energised and doing it all again…

Weird.  Or as one of my Facebook friends put it ‘You are energised’.  The more I think about that, the more I like that.

At the moment I am nervous about what the next chapter of my life will bring, but I also have faith, as I finally feel like I am on the right track to somewhere.

Bring on the next chapter.

Body, Mind and Soul vs Allergies

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I am about to have my first ever allergy test.  Daunting – yes. Something I should have done a long time ago – yes.

I started seeing a new Naturopath this week – the first I have seen since my old one vanished a few years ago (by vanish – she made a rapid exit from the clinic I had been seeing her at, which made me question the clinic as she was truly awesome).

After trying this whole healthy eating, elimination of foods from my diet, changing my life thing by myself (oh – with the assistance of some books) – in an attempt to finally beat my fatigue, numerous allergies, apparent IBS, and so forth, I admitted to myself that I needed help.  Sometimes you just can’t do it by yourself.  I so wanted to be the kind of person who could revolutionise her own life – but I can’t do it by myself.

The initial consult was good, my new naturopath seems personable, knowledgable and caring, she did a thorough Q&A, and I didn’t walk away with hundreds of dollars worth of supplements in the first session!  Now that’s a win-win!

I’m incredibly curious to see the results of my allergy test.  I fear that it will come back saying that I am allergic to everything…but then again, that wouldn’t be a surprise as that’s how I’m feeling right about now – I feel like I should be living in a bubble (or maybe bubble wrap? How I adore bubble wrap!).

I’ll keep you posted on how I go!

Snapshot of The Beauty of Difference series

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Today I thought I’d provide you a snapshot of some of the heart-felt and inspirational posts that have been shared as part of ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series right here on Reflections From a Red Head.

In case you missed the meaning behind the series, I started it as an attempt to share with the greater world the stories of some of the amazing people I know from all over the world who are ‘different’ for some way or another.  So far people have shared their personal experiences with depression, bullying, racism, finding their identity, chasing their passions and learning to love themselves for who they are.

I had hopes to at least help a few people ‘see’.  I have been blown out of the water by each and every person who has shared their story with me, the stories themselves as well as those that have stepped by, read the posts and those that have taken the time to leave comments.

So here is a selection for you to sink your teeth into:

Inner Beauty Shining Bright: The first post in the series is special to me as, well, it was the first one, and after all it was a piece about a beautiful friend of mine – Afifah Mohd Salehan.

Stained, written by beautiful blogger Marie Loerzel from Rock the Kasbah. When I received this post via email from Marie my breath was taken away by how beautifully written it was.

The Beauty of Difference is…a stunning poem contributed by Calisha Bennet, from Diamonds of Islam.

The post that has received the most visits so far is Its About Damn Time I Like Me by the awesome Lalia Voce from Skank Rattle and Roll.

And the latest – The Beauty of Difference – by Abdul Mateen, of which one reader referred to as ‘absolute poetry’.

I hope you enjoy the selection, and please feel free to leave comments!

Also, if you are interested in participating, do not hesitate to contact me directly.

Janine

x

EVERYTHING HAS ITS BEAUTY BUT NOT EVERYONE SEES IT - CONFUCIUS

 

Body Mind and Soul: My Journey to a Healthier Me

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Last week I wrote a post titled ‘Its time to be gentle on myself – body mind and soul’.  In a nutshell it was a public statement – sort of like a vow – from me to you, that went something like this:

“At this moment in time I have no choice. I need to turn my life around, and I need to do more than just changing jobs and working on my passion. I need to change my whole life.  I need to change everything – what I eat, what I drink, what I do, how I think.  And I know this is not a new thought to me, as I’ve attempted it before.

The difference now is that I HAVE to do it, but that I also have to do it gently. I can’t just go hard-core – ‘Okay Janine we are going to eliminate everything bad for you and you are going to change your life and you are going to do it RIGHT NOW.’  No. I think my body will then go into more shock.

It’s time to stop beating myself up.  It’s time to be gentle on myself – body, mind and soul.”

After I hit the ‘publish’ button I felt a wave wash over me.  Relief.  It was out there now, in the open, for all of the world to see.  And with the world as my witness, I realised that I would do this – I was seriously serious, and ever since then I’ve actually gotten, well – serious!  

Therefore I’ve made the decision to continue sharing my journey with you every Wednesday.  I’m calling it:

‘Body, Mind and Soul – My Journey to a Healthier Me’.  

After all it can’t hurt, and sharing is caring. Hell, we all might just learn something along the way!

Why not join me?

Simple really is best

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Today’s post for ‘The Beauty of Difference’ series comes from yours truly :)

Janine, The Bogan Teenager

Wikipedia defines the term bogan as:

‘Australian slang, usually pejorative or self-deprecating, for an individual who is recognised to be from a lower class background or someone whose limited education, speech, clothing, attitude and behaviour exemplifies such a background’.

Interesting.

I’ve never quite thought of myself or my family that way…I mean, we wore black Faberge jeans and flannelette shirts. My Dad rode motor bikes, wandered around with a pack of Winnie blues up his sleeve, and loved to drink rum. We all loved rock music. And yes – we didn’t have a lot of money.

In the 80′s we lived in a mining town called Kalgoorlie, populated by men with tattoos who road large, loud motor bikes, and came home every day from working in the mines – and having stopped at the local TAB to place a bet on the races – grotty and smelling like oil and beer. The women, well, half of them did it tough looking after their families, and rarely themselves. The other half worked in the infamous Hay Street brothels or as ‘skimpy‘ (scantily clad) barmaids.

I spent a lot of time riding my bike on the big, wide roads or gravel tracks, ‘growing’ frogs in the steel drum at my friends place, staging dance concerts to Mum on the wood pylons lying on the back yard (notably to the Bangles ‘Manic Monday’), and freaking out at the site of a monster red/orange centipede.

As kids, my brother, sister and I hung out at the pub with our folks and their friends, listening to Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and The Doors, trying to imitate the adults by playing pool and darts, or wishing we could get lucky on the used bingo cards lying around the place. We also sat around the open fire in the bush at night, listening to music, the reverberations from the sounds of the motorbikes going through your chest, pretending to sleep, but really waiting for the spuds (potatoes) to cook under the ashes – only to be slathered by butter and salt and devoured.

Sure, it wasn’t paradise, and it certainly wasn’t all good, but I’m grateful for growing up the way I did. It taught me the value of money – especially thinking back to Mum skipping meals so that she could feed her three kids baked beans on toast – and then worrying about what to feed the three dogs.

It taught me not to not judge people by appearances – ‘scruffy’ people, or people who rode bikes, wore black or looked rough, well they can turn out to be the most funniest, lovely or most philosophical people.

It also taught me to care for every living thing – so much so that I can’t even kill an ant. Mum and Dad brought home injured birds and lizards, we had horses. Mum tried to resuscitate a chicken once because it accidentally drowned.

But, most of all it taught me to be grateful for what I’ve got, for the family I have, to not be embarrassed of my roots, and that simple really is best.

It’s time to be gentle on myself – body mind and soul

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The other day I wrote a post called Help Me If You Can I’m Feeling Blue (formerly My Prolonged Mood – I had second thoughts on the title and changed it).

This was pretty much a desperate cry for help as my body had reached that point whereby it was telling my mind that it had had enough of the treatment it had been receiving.  Fair call body.  Mind is sorry.  If it helps any, the mind has also been suffering.

I’ve pushed myself way too hard for too many years. Stress, booze, bad food, starvation, over-exercising, too much sleep, lack of sleep, partying, over-working, preventing myself from having any fun by going on the straight and narrow path, and never stopping till my body crashed and forced me to stop (usually on a holiday whereby I would push myself to see as much as I could, returning to…work).

Most of you would know I left my previous job about 2 months now (how time flies!) which was the best move I could have made. I’ve now taken a part-time job – Monday to Thursday, to allow one day off for me – my health, working on my passion, and generally just to take care of myself. A few days ago I had to remind myself of something -

‘Janine – once again you are throwing yourself into something and working too hard.’

My level of hard work is way above most other people…and that’s not being egotistical. Even since I’ve worked I’ve been the highest out-puter, the highest achiever, the hardest worker…all that whilst NOT kissing ass. I stick to my principles and kissing ass doesn’t taste good.  It’s the only way I know…and it runs in my family as my mum, brother and sister are exactly the same – it’s why we burn out. It’s why I’m now exhausted – physically and mentally, why I have IBS, why I’ve put on weight, why I suffer from night sweats, why I now have eczema on my face…I’m toxic.  I was reading a book called ‘Crazy Sexy Diet’ (Kris Carr) last night and she writes this:

‘The early symptoms were obvious but I couldn’t see them for what they were: a toxic lifestyle and environment that was causing physical and emotional stress. I had a bunch of chronic health problems, including zits, colds, chest infections, allergies, depression, dry skin, eczema, low sex drive, bloating, constipation, abdominal pain, acid reflux, and fatigue – all distress signals from an imbalanced body.’

Enter the REAL wake up call.  Kris Carr developed all of these PLUS cancer in her twenties. And what she described was me – thankfully minus the cancer.

At this moment in time I have no choice. I need to turn my life around, and I need to do more than just changing jobs and working on my passion. I need to change my whole life.  I need to change everything – what I eat, what I drink, what I do, how I think.  And I know this is not a new thought to me, as I’ve attempted it before.

The difference now is that I HAVE to do it, but that I also have to do it gently. I can’t just go hard-core – ‘Okay Janine we are going to eliminate everything bad for you and you are going to change your life and you are going to do it RIGHT NOW.’  No. I think my body will then go into more shock.

It’s time to stop beating myself up.

It’s time to be gentle on myself – body, mind and soul.

Photo by Ambreen Beg

Don’t settle for being normal – be EXTRAORDINARY!

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Today’s post for The Beauty of Difference series comes to you from Calisha Bennett, the writer behind the poem ‘The Beauty of Difference is…‘, of which she gave me the privilege of sharing with you on 11 October 2011. Calisha is also the creator and blogger at ‘Diamonds of Islam‘.

About Calisha

I am a 26-year-old, Australian born Muslim woman. My father is ‘Aussie’ and my mum is from Christmas Island. My dad embraced Islam when he was 22 and he married my mum not long after. I am happily married and am a home schooling mother of 3 beautiful children aged 8, 4 and 1. I also teach Quran recitation classes, run exercise classes, a teenage youth group and volunteer for different organisations when I can. I like to think of myself as a ‘freethinker’ and I continuously strive to discover the best ways of living life through education, research and taking from the wisdom of others (rather than simply ‘following the masses’).

Passion

I am passionate about my faith – Islam, and raising awareness of it’s true teachings and dispelling myths and misconceptions that are often portrayed by the media and those with dishonourable agendas. I am also passionate about child raising and holistic education and how important it is that children are raised with the ability to think deeply about things in life rather than living a shallow, materialistic existence. I am passionate about health and wellbeing particularly in our day and times where the majority of people are not aware that the illnesses which are the major causes of death and disease are directly related to our diet and lifestyle. I could go one but I’m passionate about everything in life really!

Difference

I don’t really see myself as ‘different’, as strange as that may sound. I feel as though I belong where I am and am comfortable with who I am and choose to be (whilst still wanting to grow and change for the better). I am however, aware that I may ‘seem’ as different to others because when I go out and I wear my Hijab (hair cover/scarf) people will look at me as being foreign – a migrant perhaps who speaks very little English. So I often feel underestimated. When I go out, I personally feel normal and like any other ‘Aussie’. This is where I grew up, this is my country and being an Australian Muslim is the only identity I’ve ever known and am proud of. So I guess it’s being Muslim that makes me different in Australia.

Experiences

Being part of the Muslim minority in Australia, our community really does cop some harsh racism and ill-treatment.  I have heard many negative stories from other Muslims and some much, much more hurtful than my own. I myself have quite a few stories, but I’ll mention a few examples of experiences.

Back in high school, I would be asked so many questions about ‘what I was’, why I wore that thing on my head and often got sarcastic comments that would get on my nerves. There were times in my adult studies where I could feel I wasn’t being included by other class members who were almost ignoring me so I had to really put myself out there and make conversation.

It’s sad to think that people would treat you so differently just because you wear a piece of fabric on your head. I’ve had people yell out at me from their cars while I am walking down the street. They’d yell things like ‘Go back to where you came from!’ or ‘Take that thing off your head!’ or my favourite ‘You terrorist!’ Even until now, when I am walking with my kids it still happens and they have an awful fright. It really upsets me when the kids have to witness or are victims of this type of treatment.

But on a positive note – the lovely, accepting and good-hearted people that I have met always manage to give me hope for the future of society. These are the people you look forward to meeting throughout the day and sharing smiles and conversation with! They make the world a better place!

Knowledge

I really want people to know that just because they don’t understand another person or their culture or faith, it doesn’t they have to be scared of it. Rather they should want to learn more about those who are different in order to appreciate their good points and to better understand others. Also I would want more people to question what they are fed by the society, the media and educational institutions. I want others to have a thirst for seeking AUTHENTIC knowledge and information as opposed to propaganda, falsified news reports, inauthentic historical facts, theories being taught as if they are ‘fact’ and so on.

Having an open, free thinking mind is something we should all aspire to attain because only then will we be able to accept the differences of others and be open to seeking the truth about the world we live in. Only with a free mind can we be true to ourselves and become accountable for our lives rather than being so easily influenced to think or live according to what is ‘expected’ and regarded as ‘normal’ to society. I say why settle for being ‘normal’? Rather be EXTRAORDINARY!

Celebrating Difference

By celebrating each other’s differences we will learn to accept one other as individuals and to nurture within ourselves positive character traits such as respect, tolerance, humility, acceptance and more. Being different is what makes our world such an exciting place to live. There are so many places to see, people to meet, foods to taste, cultures to embrace and more!

I think that the dislike of people who are different comes from traits such as pride and arrogance. This is where individuals are so ignorant of the world around them that they feel threatened by anything different and need to take the stance of being of a higher worth than the foreign other. But if they could just come back down to earth and realise they had absolutely no choice or power whatsoever in deciding who or what they would be born into this world as! Reality check! Good morning sunshine!

Words of Wisdom

I love a verse from the Quran in Chapter 13, Verse 28 where Almighty God says:

“Only in the remembrance of God will your heart find peace”.

In times where many are pursuing happiness and peace in temporal pleasures like material wealth, social status, external appearances, intoxicants and other things, I feel that true peace is in recognising and being thankful to the One True Creator of all that exists. Just remembering throughout the day, in good times and bad, that everything you go through is from God, can give you so much strength and calmness to get through the toils of life.

For me, knowing that everything around us has a purpose, from the trees, to water, to animals, to computers, to clothing, to insects, to a simple table – everything we see around us has a purpose. So to know that the highest and most intelligent of creation in this world – we human beings – must have a purpose (submission to God) is a truly liberating and peaceful realisation.  By submitting to one God, I feel as though I free myself from slavery or submission to anything/anyone else and that’s why I love Islam so much.

Weathered

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I’ve reached that stage in life.  I’m 34.  No biggy.  But the white hairs are now coming in droves…that was always destined to happen as a red-head.  The lines though – they have also appeared – on my forehead, around my eyes and mouth.  The skin on my face is no longer as taught as it used to be. My hands – they are freckled from the sun and look worn.  My feet, well, they look like they have had a hard time from too many mis-fitting shoes and a lack of moisturising and general neglect.

I feel tired…physically and mentally. I feel weathered.

Weathered

If I was a car I would be trading myself in or a newer model. I actually think I am in need of an oil change, new shock absorbers, some filler and a new coat of paint – and definitely some detailing.

But – at least I can say that I have lived, of which I never actually thought I would be able to say.  

‘I have lived.’

Thinking back on what I have done, what I have experienced – well – I don’t feel sad. 

Sure, life hasn’t exactly taken the path I had planned…although I never actually had a ‘path’.  Still, I don’t regret the path I have taken.  The only thing I have a slight ‘twinge’ of regret for is that I have not travelled as extensively as I had planned.  But then again, I am finally experiencing what it is like to have a ‘home’, which is not exactly a bad thing.

Life is such a funny old thing.

Creative Wednesdays – A Snippet from a Fantasy

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I had been waiting for this moment for what seemed like an eternity…

And finally – it was here.

As his teeth thrust down hard into my neck, I moaned in ecstasy. It was time…it was my time…and this was right.

My life until this moment became meaningless.

Birth.

Life.

Death.

Only to be reborn to live forever.

 

Your Mission if YOU Choose to Accept it

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Today’s post for The Beauty of Difference series comes to you from a wise man that I respect deeply.  I met Roy Ackerman last year in the blogosphere, and since then he has helped to change my life. Thank you Roy, and thank you for sharing your story that covers some very dark times in the history of the world we all live in.

‘To the world, you are one person; to one person, you are the world.’

You can find more words of wisdom from Roy at www.adjuvancy.com/wordpress or cerebrations.biz.

Snippets from memories:

My bay window smashed – often.

Walking in the forest behind my house – and being surrounded by six or seven older kids. More than once – way more than once.

A neighbour – Joe – across the street – who came over to help – often. One of the few to stand up to these practices.

A friend – with a funny sounding name (it sounded Italian, but he was a Spanish Marano) – who did not want me to tell others about him. They didn’t know he really was Jewish, too.

New York suburbs – yes, that New York – where you find yourself the only family among hundreds (almost thousands) – that is Jewish. Everyone else – Roman Catholic, Irish or Italian, who, with very few exceptions, go to private school, too. And, are taught that you killed their god, and, that you are their enemy.

I won’t go into the theological concept of how a god can die (unless you want to believe in mythology). I’m sorry if this offends you, but it has always been a major question to me. And, why folks who hate me so much forget that this person they adore was probably the very first Reform Jew. Whose followers, like the practice of another religion, converted him (and probably made up great stories) after he was dead.

Those facts molded me. I was faced with these instances every single day of my life from when I was a little more than 2 until I was a few months shy of my bar mitzvah. When Long Island changed from being comprised of a few big towns and small villages in Nassau County with potato farms in Suffolk County, that was converted to defense establishment heaven (long before these high-tech activities moved to Silicon Valley and the two beltways (metro DC and Boston) and changing the face of the area.

Where the Nazi party reigned supreme (finally disappearing by the mid-1950’s). Where a putsch hall was taken over and converted to a synagogue in 1951. The synagogue of my youth.

It also solidified my beliefs. If they hated me so much for what they thought I thought – shouldn’t I be positive in what it is for which I stand? Should I not affirm these beliefs each and every day? (If they plan to hurt/kill me for them, what’s the point if I don’t live those ideals in the first place?)

It’s also why I know – in every fiber of my body – the anguish of the dispossessed, the discriminated. It’s why I knew that Civil Rights were a critical issue. Which in the 50’s and 60’s was the issue of Jews AND Blacks. Together. Until it wasn’t.

Why two Jewish guys decided to model their ideal world using Jewish themes. Which roots most folks never understood. The Daily Planet (examine the original N.Y. Daily News headquarters). Smallville (I know it was supposed to be middle America – but that was Long Island in the 30’s and 40’s.) Kal-El, Jor-El – all Jewish names. Truth, Justice, and the American Way. I grew up believing that they were synonymous. Justice, Justice, you SHALL pursue. Two witnesses – not one. Help the poor, the weak, the invalid. It’s not an eye FOR an eye, but an eye in place of an eye – that’s financial compensation.

Now, I know there are many who try to subvert that. Try to keep things as follows:

Truth for the rich, Justice for those with money to pay for it, and the American Way is to extend and expand those truths. Unless people like me – and you – stop them. And, not just America – but for the world.

That has to be our mission. No matter what our religion. The beauty of difference is that we can all be different – yet work together for the common goal – to make this world better for all of us.