23 In Self-care

I love my imperfect self!


There's no such thing as perfect, and that's totally okay.

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve strived for perfection in every way imaginable.

Seeking the perfect weight, size and shape, or to be the perfect employee, girlfriend, daughter, grandchild, friend, wife. Starving, over-exercising, over working, over drinking, over caring… I’ve even had times where I believed or acted like I was a superwoman. Sure, I didn’t run into a burning building or jump from a roof to save someone, but I did believe I was invincible.

And then there’s everything else. Searching for the perfect job, career, relationship, house, place to live, salary… ARGHHHHH. Where did all that searching and striving for perfection get me?

If you read any comic book or watch any superhero movie, there’s always that moment where the protagonist is met with a reality check. Be it their own mortality, their inability to save someone or their defeat at the hands of a bad ass…without fail it always happens.

We all have our kryptonite.

Perfectionism was mine. No matter how many burning buildings I ran into or how many people I saved there was always one certainty. I would always come crashing back to Earth (and in all seriousness, I’ve experienced more than my fair share of crashes, both literally and figuratively), and I would always be left in a heap crying like a baby.

I’ll admit that as a proud and semi-reformer perfectionist and people pleaser, I’ve spent years beating myself up, starving myself, over-exercising, working too bloody hard and trying to live up to someone else’s expectations on top of my own. And do you know something. I’m exhausted AND I’m over it!

I mean, isn’t it exhausting? 

That constant striving to be more, do more, or to just BE perfect. Well, have I got some BIG news for you! None of us were born to be superheroes. That even goes for the superheroes! Surrounded by persistent messaging to be the best, to look the best, to have the best, or to be the most popular, the fact that NO ONE is perfect nor was ever meant to be can be a hard fact to stomach but it’s 100% true.




I love my imperfect self!

Today I’m the first to put my hand up these days and admit that I am nowhere near perfect. I don’t have flawless skin – I suffer from adult acne with scarring to match, and am covered freckles and other lumps and bumps.My hair is dry, due for a reshape and riddled with split ends. As my 30’s draw to a close I’m also battling white hairs, a war I seem to be losing. I’m a size 12 and used to be an 8. I have loads of stretch marks – and I haven’t had kids. These set in in my teens and I’ve had what I call my ‘tiger stripes’ ever since. I also have a shit load of cellulite and puffy legs.

I have scars – both mentally and physically – after suffering from a few lengthy episodes of depression and long-term anxiety. I’m also an introvert, something I’ve struggled with over the years but now embrace, and I prefer the company of my dog to people. I fuck up more times than I like to admit. It takes me 5 days to reply to a text message. I have a messy house, and my grammar, spelling and punctuation leaves room for improvement even though I’m a writer.

I’ve blogged for nearly 6 years and compared to the time I spend on my blog I don’t have an awful lot of subscribers. I could be a better wife and step mum, sister, daughter and friend but I’m tired all the time. I eat way too much junk food, watch too much TV, and drink too much booze. And at times I’m a bloody mess.

But… I love me. I really do. I love my imperfect self.

Wow. It’s taken me 30-something years to be able to finally tell myself that and actually mean it!

What about you?

When was the last time you told yourself that you love you? Have you ever told yourself you love you?

If your answer is ‘it’s been a while‘, ‘no‘, or ‘never‘, then I want you to give yourself a big bloody hug as you need it! 

I also want you to look at yourself in the mirror, and when ready, say ‘I love you’. Why? Because you need to hear it. [It will get easier the more you do it, so keep working at it!]

What I want you to take away from reading this post is this. ALL OF US are flawed. But do you know something? Being flawed. Being imperfect, is more than okay. It’s actually bloody brilliant 🙂

Why, when we know that there’s no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone? Is it that we really admire perfection? No – the truth is that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect. – Brene Brown


Want to read more about embracing imperfections?

Read these:

The What, Why and How of Positive Affirmations

4 Ways to Embrace Imperfections

Falling in Love with My Imperfect Self

Want more like this? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter!

Join our list

Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

  • Mackenzie Glanville
    April 26, 2015 at 11:51 am

    I am Mac and I am a recovering perfectionist. I ran myself into the ground, stressed my children, my hubby, and ended up so anxious. I am trying to let go, and just enjoy the chaos, embrace life and care less about having a home that looks like a display. It feels good to be letting go, it is such a sense of freedom. Great post as always xx

    • Janine Ripper
      April 30, 2015 at 3:44 pm

      Thanks Mac. Oh I hear you about the house! We had someone over the other day complaining because I wasn’t cracking the whip on Den to paint the doors and other things. I just looked at him thinking ‘dude, there’s no whip cracking in this house – no stress! Just remember not to run yourself into the ground again with blogging!!!

  • cathy
    April 27, 2015 at 9:30 am

    This post rang so true with me Janine! No one is perfect, that is true, and to try to be is a folly. I try to avoid the struggle as much as possible. It makes life much easier to manage. The older I get, the simpler my outlook on life gets. Resonant post Janine, one many people will identify with. 🙂

    • Janine Ripper
      April 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks Cathy. I hope all is going ok with you. Its amazing how perspectives change as you get older…when I was younger I always thought people who said that were full of shit! Eat my words!

  • Marie
    April 29, 2015 at 2:37 am

    Hear! Hear! Funny how striving to be perfect makes you depressed and unhappy and accepting imperfection makes you liberated and happier…

    • Janine Ripper
      April 30, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      It’s really quite amazing and crazy but so true!

  • Parul
    March 27, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Hey! Thank you so much for the feature. As I mentioned on Facebook, it was such an impromptu decision to convert the comment to a post. I’m feeling so honoured.

    On perfection, our flaws make us perfect. We all should accept ourselves in totality. Those imperfections are as much a part of us as anything else. Great reminder!

  • Never deny your struggles as they are an important part of your story - Janine Ripper Reflections from a Redhead
    March 30, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    […] As an incredibly flawed human being, I accept that I am enough and that that is okay. In fact, it is brilliant. It is liberating. This has helped me to accept my ability as a writer, whilst embracing my notable grammatical flaws and at times insufficient grasp of the English language. […]

  • Mackenzie Glanville
    March 31, 2016 at 8:03 am

    You are writing so beautifully lately its like I feel a new energy from you. Another wonderful post, I think we are all perfectly unperfectly perfectly us! If that makes sense, much love gorgeous.

  • 30 reasons why turning 30 rocks - Reflections from a Red Head
    March 31, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    […] We are all beautifully imperfect. […]

  • Tamzen Temple
    April 3, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    You actually will like yourself more and more as you get older and think others you once thought not so awesome are also freaking brilliant. Great words and great that you have ignored the white noise of perfect.. it unrealistic and best just to be your perfect you to yourself. xx

    • Ashleigh My Meow
      April 4, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      Agree totally!

    • Janine Ripper
      April 4, 2016 at 5:37 pm

      So very true! Thanks for swinging by Tamzen 🙂 Have a great week.

    • Janine Ripper
      April 5, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      It took me a long time to ignore others but Im so glad Im there now! Isnt it weird how we all change. Its bloody awesome too 🙂

  • Ashleigh My Meow
    April 4, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Beautiful words and can relate. I used to be so obsessed with doing every thing right. Following a strict diet, training, a heavy schedule of social events. Tried so hard and it made me so bloody tired. I’m now fatter, lazier, and better at saying no, oh and happier than ever. Chasing perfection is a tiring and thankless pursuit.

    • Janine Ripper
      April 5, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Haha I read your comment as I was sitting here feeling lumpy… and you reminded me that I need to get over that shit too as that’s again me thinking i need to be something else. Thank you!

  • 5 things to do when you're bombarded with bad news - Reflections from a Redhead
    June 21, 2016 at 10:28 am

    […] There’s no such thing as perfect […]

  • Carrie Bailey
    July 2, 2016 at 10:47 am

    You speak to my soul! Brene Brown quotes included 🙂
    P.S. # of subscribers does not define your ability to write, show up authentically or be successful!

    • Janine Ripper
      July 7, 2016 at 7:46 pm

      Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means 🙂

  • If You Could Go Back In Time, What Advice Would You Give to Yourself? - Reflections from a Redhead
    July 4, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    […] You are beautiful. You have a vibrant mane, strong legs, a elizabethan nose, a face scattered with sunrises, ivory skin, pianist hands and slender arms. You are gorgeous. You need to believe that! And anyway, there is no such thing as perfect! […]

  • Learn to Say No - It's One of the Best Things You Can Ever Do - Reflections from a Redhead
    July 7, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    […] There’s no such thing as perfect […]

  • 50 Small Ways You Can Help Make the World a Better Place - Reflections from a Redhead
    July 18, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    […] There’s no such thing as perfect so embrace your imperfections! […]

  • Useful Advice for People With a Mental Illness from Those Who Have Been There - Reflections from a Redhead
    August 14, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    […] kindness on yourself! Even if you aren’t feeling the self-love, crank out the positive affirmations and start talking to yourself nicely. Trust me, it gets easier the more you do […]

  • Send this to a friend