We all want to be happy.
And many of us try to do so by filling our lives with things, be it material possessions, food and drink, money or even people.
However, these ‘things’ tend to be more of a stop-gap. Sure, you might feel happy having purchased that new pair of shoes or having gained that promotion you’ve been working hard for, but that feeling doesn’t last, does it?
So, how do you find happiness?
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
How I found happiness
Once upon a time, all I wanted was to be happy. It just always seemed so…well…unobtainable. Food, sex, booze, travel, men, friends, work, study. None of it helped.
What saddened me was that I couldn’t seem to find or keep hold of happiness. It would tantalise me now and then with a brief glimpse or a taste, but it never stuck around.
My quest for happiness was making me miserable.
And even though it was the only thing I wanted – my main focus in life – deep down, I wholeheartedly believed I would never find true happiness. And I guess part of me believed I didn’t deserve to be happy.
Happiness was like the mythical pot of gold at the rainbow’s end. The problem with that pot of gold was that one could spend a lifetime chasing after the end of many rainbows only to never find that blasted pot of gold.
And then, one day, I stopped chasing happiness
When I stopped chasing happiness, everything changed.
On that day, when I stopped dreaming about being happy and started LIVING, I started feeling happy!
Okay, it wasn’t as easy as that. It involved life coaching and making a conscious decision to change my state of mind and focus in life. It involved a new way of thinking. A new outlook on life. It involved retraining my brain to look at life differently.
I started to enjoy the little moments more. I started to see the beauty in the day-to-day things. And I started to enjoy my life a whole lot more.
So, here are 10 tips to help you find your happiness.
They are super small and simple and are things you can start doing today that won’t cost you a thing. By doing these, you won’t have to find your happiness. Happiness may just be a pleasant byproduct – along with less stress, clearer priorities, and so much more
1. Savour the moment
Make time each day to pause and be mindful of the small moments that occur every day. You know, the moments you usually miss because you’re busy or thinking about a million other things.
Things to try
- Savour your morning tea or coffee. Feel the warmth and the caffeine spread throughout your body, enlivening you with every sip
- Bask in the glory of the morning sunlight, preferably whilst sipping on your morning coffee
- Walk in the rain… why not act like a kid and jump in puddles!
- Catch snowdrops with your tongue, make snow angels, or have a snowball fight!
- Be ever-surprised at the wonder of nature… the greenery, the blueness of the sky, the expanse of the ocean
- Stare lovingly at your partner, and just soak up the love you feel for them
2. Laugh
“Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.”
Paul E. McGhee, Ph.D.
Laughter is the best medicine. According to Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. (Laughter is the Best Medicine);
- Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals
- A good hearty laugh relaxes the body – it relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
- It also boosts the immune system AND protects the heart.
Things to try
- Bingewatch a comedy series
- Go see a live comedy show
- Check out YouTube for a load of funniness – whatever tickles your funny bone!
3. Embrace authenticity
Be authentic in whatever it is you do.
Because, when you start living according to your values and priorities, you’ll find you are doing more of what you love, with people you love, for the right reasons – all of which equate to those happy feelings!
4. Practice gratitude daily
Develop a daily gratitude practice.
Things to try
- You could try keeping a gratitude journal. Gratitude journals are a great way to keep track of what you are thankful for every day.
- Keep a gratitude jar,
- Write someone a handwritten letter expressing how grateful you are for them being in your life.
5. Releasing negative emotions
When your mind is liberated your heart floods with compassion.
Thich Nhat Hanh
By releasing the hate and anger I had carried around for most of my teenage years and early twenties, through practicing forgiveness, I freed myself from a heavy burden I had carried around for years. With my mind and body feeling much lighter, I became healthier, happier and more positive. Furthermore, my health – both physical and mental – improved.
6. Be mindful
Learning to be more mindful will allow your mind, body and heart to reconnect. The result -is improvements to your life and health in general and a greater sense of peace.
I saw many health benefits after attending an 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program (MBSR). Completing the MBSR helped me realise how much stress was impacting my health. I also learn’t techniques I will carry with me throughout life, helping me be more mindful and live a healthier, happier life.
I highly recommend it 🙂
7. Use positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are all about turning negative thinking on its head and flicking that switch from ‘woe is me’ to ‘yay’ me!
Look at it this way, every positive affirmation sums up what you believe about yourself. So you can be your own worst critic or your own cheer squad!
If that affirmation doesn’t work for you, find one that does. OR try flipping one of the negative thoughts you always have into an opposite and more positive one!
And if you have trouble telling yourself this, write it on a sticky note and stick it on the bathroom mirror, fridge, or steering wheel so you can be reminded of it every day.
“I am loved. I now choose to love and approve of myself. I see others with love.”
Louise Hay
Need to know how to use positive affirmations in your life? Read this.
8. Smile
Smiling is the BEST medicine, as it relaxes the muscles in your face and sends signals to the brain, which causes a release of those good old endorphins as well as serotonin.
Things to try
- Smile at a stranger
- Walk to work with a smile on your dial
- On waking, make SMILING the first thing you do!
9. Have Some Good Old-fashioned Fun!
Find happiness by giving yourself permission to let your hair down and have some good old-fashioned fun – often. Even if you have to schedule it into your diary!
Get out of the house and do something crazy. Wild. Different. Just like you did in the old days. Why not hit the road for a good old road trip with a rockin’ playlist and your fave snacks? And what about hitting the town for a night of let-your-hair down dancing and good times?
10. Embrace Your Inner Child
There is way too much seriousness in the world.
One of the ways I inject happiness into my daily life is to embrace my inner kid.
I love cartoons, jumping in puddles, dancing and singing loudly, and encourage YOU to do the same.
In all seriousness, the moment I stopped caring so much about what everyone else thought was the moment I started to be myself and to live.
And that’s when I started to be happy.
