Life is full of challenges and hardships, but when you lean into discomfort, you can experience new things, build resilience, learn and grow.
We all know that feeling. You’re in the middle of something new and challenging and are unsure if you can do it.
You’re filled with self-doubt as you greet good old imposter syndrome head-on.
‘Do I run the other way?’ you think to yourself.
Or do you lean into the discomfort and push on?
Here’s the thing: leaning into discomfort is where self-development happens.
Here’s why.
Leaning Into Discomfort Means You’re Growing
Discomfort is important because it is often in those moments that we learn and grow the most.
We can feel uncomfortable whenever we step outside our comfort zone – which is good!
When we’re stuck in our comfort zones, we’re generally cruising along, not learning new things or expanding our horizons. But when we push ourselves to lean into discomfort, we’re forced to confront our fears and open up a whole world of possibilities for growth.
This can be scary, but it’s also how we become better versions of ourselves.
Leaning Into Discomfort Helps You Overcome Your Fears
Let’s be honest: we all have fears.
Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of being less than…the list goes on.
But if we never face our fears head-on, they’ll continue to hold us back.
Learning to lean into discomfort means also learning to face our fears head-on – and overcoming them. And that’s an empowering feeling!
Leaning Into Discomfort Teaches Us Resilience
Life is full of challenges and hardships, but we build up our resilience muscle by learning to lean into discomfort instead of running the other way.
This enables us to deal with, adapt and recover from difficulties and stress more easily.
We learn that we can handle whatever life throws our way and become stronger on the other side.
In 2022, I leaned into discomfort in a big way
2022 was a year of self-discovery, discomfort, change and growth for me.
I tuned into myself.
Who I really was and what I really wanted in life.
I invested in a 12-month business leadership and mentoring program for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs and Leaders. This program helped me to start the year well, set goals and learn more about myself. It also helped me with my decisions later in the year…
In June, I left my job as Impact, Engagement and Communications Manager at a mental health NFP to work in my business full-time. After working in my business on the side for eight years, I knew it was time to put my business first! In the next six months, I worked with new clients in sectors I had never worked in before. I also completed some awesome projects that made a real impact and doubled my business income from the previous year – all without overworking.
Throughout 2022, I coordinated two national online conferences, something I hadn’t done before. I learnt a lot and made some wonderful new connections and friends. The events made a real impact in their sector, with both events exceeding stakeholder expectations.
In November, I hopped on a plane for the first time in five years, heading to Canberra to network and meet people I had worked with but had never met.
Attending Parliament House in Canberra for the Finding North website launch, a new mental health education website inspiring people to find their North and help others find theirs, was a privilege. It was wonderful to connect with fellow mental health and lived experience advocates from an individual, state and national capacity and to hear lived experience advocates, leaders and allies sharing their stories, experiences and ideas for a better system and support, as well as co-design at all levels.
I opened up a lot last year.
Honest and raw, I asked for what I wanted, talked openly to people, and told them what I was doing and how I felt.
I reached out to nurture new friendships. This was challenging after being burnt too many times. But it was worthwhile as I’ve connected with some wonderful, honest, beautiful and aligned people.
I also grew or opened up existing relationships, some I had held back from due to trust issues.
Furthermore, I expanded my horizons, pushed through my imposter syndrome, and grew in more ways than I could imagine.
And to close out the year, I finally received answers to long-term health issues I had been dealing with. Feeling seen and validated, my ADHD and burnout diagnosis changed my worldview and will guide how I live and where I go from here.
How to Lean Into Discomfort
Here are a few ways to practice leaning into discomfort:
- Challenge yourself. Do something you’re scared of – big or small. This could be public speaking, holding a snake or a spider, singing at a karaoke bar, going on a blind date, or skydiving.
- Travel somewhere you have never been before. Getting out of your comfort zone can help you see the world in a new light and discover things about the world, people and yourself you never knew before. My husband and I did this a few years ago when we travelled to China. It was challenging, exciting, scary and exhilarating; we stepped outside our comfort zones. However, it was worth it as we met amazing people, experienced different cultures, and saw breathtaking sites.
- Learn something new. Why not take up a new skill or hobby you’re interested in but have never attempted? This could be anything from yoga to crocheting to baking to coding. You could also go back to school. If you didn’t finish school, do it! If you don’t have a degree or a diploma, get one! You could also go all out and get your Master’s or PhD. And don’t discredit online courses. There are so many free online courses available – you will be overwhelmed by choice!
- Make a change. As they say, a change could be as good as a holiday. Be it a new hairdo or job, ending a relationship, changing careers or starting a business.
As you practice leaning into discomfort, take time to reflect on what you are doing and why, how you feel (before, during and after), and the result.
Be open and honest!
At times you could feel vulnerable, scared, and anxious. At other times you might feel excited, happy and proud.
Keep coming back to this exercise to track your learnings and growth.
When NOT to Lean Into Discomfort
Even though I’m encouraging you to lean into discomfort, hear me when I say there are times when you feel uncomfortable for very valid reasons.
If someone makes you feel uneasy, listen to your gut and walk away.
When someone does something to make you feel uncomfortable, speak up and/or walk away. [I wish I had learned this one a whole lot earlier in life, that’s for sure].
If you are experiencing pain for some reason, i.e. during a workout, ease back. Your PT will probably tell you ‘no pain, no gain’; however, there could be reasons why your body is screaming at you to STOP!
And if you are in an environment where you don’t feel like you fit in, ask yourself if you should be there. Sometimes, an environment is not right for us.
For instance, if you are neurodivergent and are experiencing sensory overwhelm at a party because of the people, lights, noise… it’s okay to leave (or not go in the first place).
Another example is in the workplace. There are a lot of toxic workplaces, and it is perfectly okay to walk away.
If you’re confused about what to do, reach out to a friend, family member, colleague or therapist. You could even chat with someone in an online chat group to sound out how you feel and why. You could be overthinking it, OR there could be some valid reasons for feeling uncomfortable.
You know you, and you’ll know the more you tune into your heart and gut.
