The elusive work-life balance. Can it even exist today when it seems that everyone is ‘ON’ all of the time?
Work and life have become increasingly busy and fast-paced, and when combined with a lack of boundaries, it’s no surprise that many of us are frustrated, feel stressed and exhausted (or even burnt out) and are looking for more work-life balance.
Today’s culture has glamorised sacrifice to achieve “it all” alongside the expectation of being ‘on’ ALL of the time and multitasking, setting standards none of us can nor should maintain.
However, the implications behind work-life imbalance can be huge, with potential negative impacts on overall well-being, physical and mental health, stress levels, work performance, relationships, and even personal safety.
A recent study indicates that the effects of a poor work-life balance may not be felt immediately and that the consequences can extend into older age, with poorer vitality and physical functioning in old age.
But what does work-life balance actually mean?
Work-life balance: the division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities.
oxford dictionary
A good work-life balance, or what I prefer to call work-life harmony, means you have a healthy split between the different aspects of your life and work.
This split is unique to you and depends on your values, priorities, needs, passions and goals at any given time.
It can also depend on your time of life. Your work-life looks very different in your 20s compared to your 40s.
In my 20s, my life was about partying, work, friends and travel.
In my 40s, it’s about health, energy, joy, relaxation, my business and making a difference.
Why is a good work-life balance so important?
It’s pretty obvious, really, but here are some of the reasons why work-life balance is so important:
- less stress
- lower risk of burnout
- greater sense of well-being
- stronger relationships
- closer families
- better mental and physical health
- increased life satisfaction
- better job performance
- increase happiness
- increased creativity and productivity
- better health outcomes as you age
- you have space to discover yourself.
10 things you can do to restore more balance to your life
Finding the right work-life balance can be challenging. Things can also change with the ebb and flow of life and work.
Personally, no matter how much I work at it, it can go off-kilter quickly!
However, there are some steps you can take to reclaim what is most important to you in your life and prioritise what you need to help maintain balance and protect your health and well-being.
When reading this, remember that this is not an exhaustive list and that it’s important to do what works for you!
Stop multitasking
‘What? But if I don’t multitask, how will I get anything done?!’
Multi-tasking is so out.
And monotasking is in.
As a creative, I love the concept of deep work by Cal Newport:
Deep Work: Professional activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit.
cal newport
Embracing deep work and time blocking has helped me focus more when working on one task or project at a time.
That is, rather than flitting between inboxes and apps and sites and networks and messages and various task lists, ticking them off as I go, seriously impressed at my ability to get all the things done, but then wondering why I’m so exhausted deep down into my bones.
How does any one person ever manage that?!
Breathe.
Schedule life first
The one important rule Michelle Obama brought into her public life was scheduling life first:
“You have to schedule the balance.” “If we let life go, work is the first thing that fills it up. The job takes over.”
michelle obama
Life is fleeting. And it’s important you take time for yourself and those close to you.
Schedule time with your family and friends, activities you enjoy, and time off to support you to nurture yourself.
If the week ahead looks busy, it’s critical that you schedule some downtime to get through it.
Side note: I schedule time on my business – which means I work on my business and personal development rather than doing client work or napping.
Practice saying no
Many people have trouble saying no, yet saying ‘yes’ to everything is one of the main reasons most of us get into trouble!
No means no. Full stop.
It’s not ‘maybe’. It’s not a ‘can I get back to you’. And it’s not ‘I have a lot on, but I can try to fit it in’.
If it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no.
Use this motto to guide every decision you make!
A little preparation goes a long way
From laying out your clothes and meal prepping to packing your bag the day before, a little planning and preparation go a long way.
Here are some other ideas:
- Do a brain dump at the end of the day and use that as your task list for the next day.
- On Sundays, plan your outfits for the week. If you have a spare room, hang them up and lay out your shoes, accessories and underwear. This way, you won’t even have to think about what you will wear in the morning.
- Pack your bag the night before with everything you may need the next day. Include everything from tissues, sunscreen, laptop, phone and chargers, pen and notebook.
- If you have kids, pack their bags lunch boxes and bags the night before school so they are ready to go in the morning.
- Invest in a classic capsule wardrobe and clothes that don’t need ironing.
- Keep a bag in your car with some workout gear.
- Fill your water bottle the night before and throw in some fruit, such as berries or lemon. This will help keep you hydrated throughout the day.
- Cook extra for easy go-to lunches and dinners throughout the week. In our household, bit pots of curry are our saviour. The challenge there is to stop yourself from eating it all at once!
- At the end of the week, reflect on what you have completed and achieved, and then do a brain dump for what you want to achieve next week – get it out of your head so you don’t need to think about it over the weekend.
- Cut up fruit and vegetables and place them in containers to make a quick daily salad or easy-to-reach healthy snack.
Incorporate more movement into your day
One of the best ways to find work-life balance is to find to incorporate more movement into your days.
There are more ways to do this than you think, many of which are ‘non-standard’!
Here are some ideas to try:
- Take your meetings outside. Walking meetings have many benefits. They offer a change of scenery, fresh air, and exercise, and they can be incredibly productive.
- Reminders. Set a timer to remind you to stand up every hour.
- Get a stand-up desk (and remember to use it).
- Stretch. Google some yoga stretches to do at your desk, in the car, and everywhere else.
- Walk. Go for a walk on your lunch break or after dinner.
- Lift some light weights. While waiting for the kettle to boil, grab some bottles of something and do a few bicep curls.
- Do some squats. Keep up that strength in your legs. Squats can be done anywhere. Out the back playing with your dog, in the kitchen when waiting for the kettle to boil, between Zoom meetings, in the shower even 🙂
Allow yourself downtime
You can’t and should not be expected to always be ‘on’.
There is such a thing as ‘me-time’, and it’s nothing to feel selfish about.
Me-time is one of the most important things you can do. Setting aside time for yourself allows you to rest, recharge, and do something nice that serves you.
Listen to your mind and body and give them what they need.
You likely need some rest if your body is heavy and your brain is foggy.
Take your breaks, nap, go to bed early and switch off notifications and alarms on the weekends.
The world can wait – it really can. And whatever you do, it will have a spillover effect on the rest of your life.
Down tools and disconnect
Disconnect from whatever electronic device you are addicted to and practice ‘out of mind, out of sight’:
- Leave it at home in the bottom of your handbag or drawer, or turn it off! Permit yourself to power down.
- Go for a walk in nature or just around the neighbourhood without your phone.
- Do you really need to take your phone and laptop to all your meetings? Instead, focus on the people in front of you.
- Explore other ways to spend your time. Colouring, painting, jigsaw puzzles, woodwork, baking, crocheting, reading a paper book, kicking the ball with your kiddies. playing hide and seek with your dog.
Additionally:
- Dedicate a weekend to a digital detox, and at the end, reflect on how you found it and how you feel.
- Remove social media apps you overuse from your phone (or you can delete them all!)
- And my fave – delete email apps from your phone! THIS has made all the difference in my life.
Your brain will thank you for it after it adjusts to the habit change!
Trust me.
Don’t compromise on your sleep
Ariana Huffington, author, columnist, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, believes the key to a good morning begins with a good night’s sleep.
I second that, as I am a mess without a good night’s sleep.
So, identify how many hours of sleep you function best on and design your sleep and life to fit.
To optimise your sleep, practise good sleep hygiene and develop a healthy sleep routine that works for you. This could include sticking to a standard ‘bedtime’, unplugging two hours before sleep, eating three hours before bed (no later), avoiding sugar before bed, showering or taking a bath before bedtime, a gentle yoga nidra routine, or listening to a sleep meditation.
Do what works for you!
I never realised how much noise disrupted my sleep before. I recently discovered Happy Ears earplugs, which have been a godsend, and the Insight Timer meditation app; now I sleep much more peacefully.
Set good boundaries
Setting boundaries is a form of self-care and a way of honouring your values and priorities.
Boundary setting is a great stress management tool also after you work through the initial discomfort and fear of letting people down.
I call my boundaries my simple rules to live by.
Good boundaries can include:
- saying no
- leaving work on time
- disconnecting after hours and on weekends (that means not checking email)
- not having email or messaging apps on your phone – I check and respond to WhatsApp messages and emails on my laptop only
- not immediately responding to things unless urgent. If it’s not life or death, it really can wait
- family time first
- taking regular breaks throughout the day
- a walk in nature once a week
- not reaching for the phone first thing in the morning or keeping your phone in your bedroom
- surrounding yourself with people who lift you up.
In the end, people will respect you for having good boundaries, and if they don’t, are they meant to be in your life?
What can you include in your life?
Note: Don’t forget to communicate them in some way. If people don’t know your expectations, they will label you as difficult.
Find your people
A former psychologist of mine kindly pointed out once that behind every successful person was their very own support team, aka their people.
As I sat there listening to her, this woman, who appeared so calm, flawless and put-together, let me in on some of her secrets. They included her support network, husband, beautician, hairdresser, masseuse, mentor, and more.
She then encouraged me to develop my own.
Which takes time, but it’s great advice.
From friends and mentors through to my hairdresser, dog trainer, coaches and stylist, I have a great ‘team’.
Over the last few years, I feel blessed to have found ‘my people’, including a lot of neurodivergent friends and colleagues who have walked before me prior to my own diagnosis.
End-note
- Not all workplaces or living arrangements are conducive to work-life balance. Listen to your mind and body. If you feel uncomfortable in the pit of your stomach, your body could be sending you a signal. So, pay close attention to what they are!
- Sometimes, you need to make some difficult decisions to find the balance you are looking for. And this might feel uncomfortable, and you disappoint some people – but that’s okay.
- What work-life balance looks like changes throughout life.
- If something isn’t working for you, decide to make a change – and do it!
My previous burnouts led to depression, anxiety, and a collection of physical health issues. I’ve worked hard to restore balance to my life. I am aware, though, that it will be an ongoing process.
The only way to make a real and sustained difference is to incorporate these changes into your life… and to keep at it, tuning them (like you would a car) as you go.
Let’s continue the conversation. What’s your top tip for work-life balance? I would love to hear it – drop a comment below!
