11 In Depression/ Mental Health

Post-natal Depression: How to Shift Your Suffering

Shifting your suffering from post-natal depression

I would like to re-paint the internal landscape of post-natal depression. I think others would connect with the imagery rather than vocabulary.

“Enough!” she cried as she fell to her knees exhausted. Every day she smiled tightly. But on the inside she screamed, painfully.

Those around her thought she was managing well. When asked, she would repeat the words she thought should say. “I’m great. It’s amazing”. They seemed to make everyone happy to hear.

But they weren’t.

She was a failure.

And she was ashamed about how she felt.

And she was ashamed by the thoughts that darkened her ‘motherhood’ experience.

Four years later I can tell you that to say “I’m not OK” or “I’m not coping” or “I don’t think I can do this” is not shameful. It means you are simply saying “I am human”.

It’s easy to feel ashamed.

Asides from managing to make it through that first year of parenting, the best thing I ever did was to speak up and admit I was struggling and that I was human.

I didn’t have super powers, I wasn’t perfect. No. This is what I expected of myself. This is what I saw in every other mother. Yes. They were sleep deprived and confused. Why was their child was crying? But I applied the double standard approach – it was OK for them, but not for me. But it was also more than that. I was in pain.

When I spoke up about my post-natal depression, something happened within and around me.

I began to accept my experience. I also gave myself permission to grieve and to make mistakes. I also let people  in.

Imagine if every time you made a mistake someone whispered in your ear “It’s OK”.

And if every time you tripped and fell, someone helped you up and said “It’s OK”.

What if every time you felt despair, someone told you “It’s OK”?

This is what happens when you speak up and let people in.

It’s easy to feel as if you’re a fraction of the Universe, yet the human experience is multi-dimensional. We’re made up of interconnecting layers of complex vibration from the physical plane of the body and structure to the etheric layers of the aura and the higher vibration of spiritual dimensions. You are spinning particles of light which cross and connect to all around you. You are literally never alone. Your pain is my pain. My joy is your joy. It’s the magnificence of connection.

“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of star stuff.” – Carl Saga, Cosmos

When you despair, know others despair with you.

When you meet another parent and they smile, give them the gift of understanding by appreciating that they are also multi-dimensional. Be lifted by the thought that those who share joy, happiness and laughter will reach out in your time of need.

Start by being honest with yourself.

Be open.

And have compassion for yourself and your valued, unique experience. This intensifies your compassion for others and expands compassion in our Universe. It is the greatest gift you can give.

Whether it’s a vibration, a wave or a ripple, admit that you’re human. It will change your life.

 

Shifting your suffering from post-natal depression

 

Resources for post-natal anxiety and depression

If you need support or information about any mental health issue:

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About Kate Pamphilon

Kate Pamphilon is a Canberra-based kinesiologist and complementary medicine practitioner. Kate shares the wisdom and techniques of ancient and modern traditions to inspire people to be their own healer. She is an expert on Sarah Wilson’s I Quit Sugar and has most recently become a published author with Janine Ripper in the best selling series Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness. You can subscribe to her blog, Holistic by Nature or follow her on Facebook.

 

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Share
  • Maureen
    January 26, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    This is so powerful…

    Crying now reading this. Thank you!

  • Kate
    January 27, 2015 at 8:00 am

    Thank you, Maureen x

  • Michelle
    January 27, 2015 at 9:16 am

    I can’t believe how much this post hits home. Suffering can feel like the weight of a boulder on your heart, but this quote helps immensely: “…be a life change artist. Start by being honest with yourself. Be open. Have compassion for yourself and your valued, unique experience.” A powerful post that I am sharing with everyone. Thank you. xoxo #ibabloggers

    • Janine Ripper
      February 7, 2015 at 10:32 pm

      Hi Michelle. It most certainly can be a boulder I am so happy this resonated with you! xx

  • Miranda G.
    January 27, 2015 at 10:04 am

    I can relate. Sometimes motherhood is not the dream you expected it would be. It’s hard. It’s real. And no, there is no shame is asking for help. Yes, women have been doing this for centuries, but I truly believe that never in history have new mothers been so alone, without a close knit community helping them. Sure, we have friends and family but in the fast paced world we live in, we really don’t have TIME to help each other how I believe we were meant to. Thanks for the great post. #ibabloggers.
    -Miranda at http://rahabtoriches.com/

  • Mackenzie Glanville
    January 28, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    My sister suffered from Post Natal depression, it was so hard for her, but with help she got through it and has two amazing boys who adore her. Thank you for sharing this story, the more we can do to support people suffering any type of mental illness the better. Such a beautifully written piece

    • Janine Ripper
      February 7, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      I’m glad you liked it Mac 🙂

  • Kate
    January 28, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Hi Miranda – your are spot on – most of us don’t live in the village that it takes to raise a child! Thanks for sharing, Michelle :o)

  • sarah
    January 28, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Thank you! This was my story as I had PND when my son was born (he’s now 2). I was in hospital for 5 weeks when he was a couple of months old. I’m still on meds and I still find some days a real struggle, but it’s a lot better than it used to be. Thank you for being that brave voice. It’s hard to know who to trust sometimes. Unfortunately there are a lot of unhelpful people out there, BUT there are a lot of really special ones who I could not have got through it without.

    • Janine Ripper
      January 30, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      I’m so glad you got something out of it Sarah. I’m happy to hear you are better than you were. AND I cannot believe your son is 2…seriously where did that go?!

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