There’s such a buzz around living an authentic life.
We’re ‘told’ by the experts to be more authentic in everything we do – from business to life, in our relationships, and even online. But as we all strive for an authentic life, do any of us really understand what it really means?
Now, I’ll try not to get too philosophical on you – and keep in mind this is my viewpoint and no dictionary definition…
I believe ‘being authentic’ is removing those masks most of us are wearing. Be it because of spoken or unspoken expectations from family and friends, from our schools and workplaces, or even society, we’ve put them on to hide who we really are in an attempt to fit in, fly under the radar, to be different or to succeed.
But we can only do that for so long, as before long it becomes downright exhausting.
How many times have you felt like you have compromised your values?
Whether its during a lunch break gossip session, telling a lie, or being asked to do something questionable at work…
How did you feel? Pretty shitty right?
By living authentically, you can avoid a lot of that.
Living an authentic life means being true to yourself.
It’s about showing yourself respect, living life aligned to your values and doing business according to your standards. Seriously, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not!
As a reformed people pleaser, I’ve spent most of my life trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be. And sure, I was successful. BUT I had exhausted myself and fallen into a deep depressiong.
Depression, chronic anxiety, illness caused by living in a constant state of fight or flight, discomfort from compromising my values.
When I started to look at why I was so unhappy and stressed, I realised what I’d been doing wrong.
That was when I realised I was good enough. I was good enough just as I was, and that there was no need to change me. I just needed to change the way I thought of me.
It’s time for you to sit down, take a load off and take 30. Here are some questions to guide you in living a more authentic life.
Turn off your technological distraction device, pick up an old-school notebook and a good pen (colours – colours are fabulous!), grab yourself a coffee or a nice glass of wine (depending on when you are reading this), and spend some time mulling over the following questions which will guide you on your way to living a more authentic life.
Who Are You?
Who are you? What makes you tick? What are you passionate about? What drives you? What do you LOVE? What brings a smile to your dial? What irks you?
Look deep inside yourself and remember – you are not the sum of what people think you are and are not who you think people want you to be. You are YOU, and there is no other! In fact – YOU ROCK!
What are your priorities?
We all have priorities, and more often than not we get stressed because our priorities conflict. Being clear on your priorities and what you won’t compromise on is incredibly important, so what are they? Is it family, friends, work, your health and wellbeing?
List your top 5.
How is your health?
How is your health? Close your eyes, sit quietly for a few seconds, and scan your body to note any tension, pain, or discomfort. What is your body telling you?
On another note, when was the last time you exercised? How have you been eating? Have you been drinking enough water (because it’s so easy to forget!), or have you been hitting the caffeine and alcohol harder than you should have?
Be honest with yourself. After all, your body is the only one you’ve got, and it usually sends us some pretty strong signals to stop and make some well-needed changes!
What do you REALLY want to be doing?
It’s a fact of life that we all need to earn money to, well, live. But there are so many ways to do this; you just have to think outside the square.
Do you want to run your own business, work for someone else, or retire at 40?
Do you want to work full-time, part-time, casual, or break out of the rat race, or do you want to stay at home with your kids?
Are you an entrepreneur, Mum, artist, philanthropist, team player, or volunteer?
Are you doing what you want to be doing? Or do you want to be doing something different?
Is anything stopping you?
How happy are you?
Thinking back over the last two weeks, consider how you feel. Happy? Angry? Stressed? Satisfied? What emotion or feeling has dominated your last two weeks?
When you felt happy, what were you doing? What happened?
What are your values?
Go on – list them.
What are your top 5 values – the things you value most in the world? Is it health, happiness, honesty, creativity, financial security, or something else? Are you compromising them in any way?
Now, considering all of this, think about the person you are showing up as in life. How does this sit with you in your gut, chest, and mind? Do you need to change anything? Or are you ticking along nicely?
Deep down, you know what you have to do. Now go on and do it!
It’s full of activities you can work through at your own pace. These will help you pin down your values and your overall priorities.
And remember…
Every change begins by making a decision and taking a single [baby] step in a new direction. It’s as simple as that (albeit making decisions can be hard!).
Love Janine
