As much as we would like it to be, there’s no such thing as clear weather, calm seas, and smooth sailing forever, no matter how hard we wish for it. The fact is, life is hard work… for all of us.
That’s the first thing I’d like you to take away from this post.
For all of us.
I’d like you to remember that the next time your life gets hard, and you feel like chucking in the towel, it helps to remember that others are also doing it tough. And that they are surviving.
But how do they go about it? Surviving, that is?
Two words for ya.
Self-care.
Yep, self-care. Something many of us suck at most of the time BUT something that is still critical to surviving and thriving. I’ll stick my hand up and admit that I mostly suck at it but am improving.
The second takeaway is this. A whole bunch of ideas for self-care that will help you cope when life gets hard.
[Before I get stuck in, I made a call out to my readers for help with writing this post, and I’d like to thank those who contributed a lot of awesome suggestions!]
So here they are. 64 Ideas for Self-Care When Life Gets Hard.
1. Take a long hot shower, followed directly by hopping into clean pj’s or comfy clothes and hitting the couch (or even a freshly made bed!)
2. Write a gratitude list
3. Ask for a cuddle. Stick with it for 12 seconds for a real sense of connection. A study published in 2015 suggests that, in addition to making us feel connected with others, hugs may actually prevent us from getting sick
4. Create a self-care playlist on YouTube, Spotify, or your preferred streaming channel just for times like this. Music, videos, other… Whatever it is, create that list. That way, you can tune in when times are tough and immediately feel relief
5. If I’m getting stressed or pressured, I force myself to slow down and do my nails: strip, file, buff, protective coat and then final colour. Takes 1 hour – Sheran
6. Eat chocolate
7. Take a long, slow walk
8. For me, it’s journalling, reading and therapy. Whilst I do use hobbies, nature and friends to help give my mind a break, for me what ultimately seems to help is making sense of what I can gain from life being hard – Ellen. Here are some ideas to inspire your journaling. And if you don’t know how to get started, check out these tips!
9. Hunker down and read a good book. Light some candles and snuggle into a cosy blanket if it’s cold out. If it’s warm, head outside with a rug and get some vitamin D – remember a hat and sunscreen!
10. A recent study has shown the mental health benefits of living near the seaside. We can’t all live by the seaside, but I highly recommend heading down to the beach or some other scenic place to watch the sunrise or sunset. The fresh air will do you a world of good. Jeremy likes to find a nice place like a lake to sit and listen to the birds and the frogs; ‘When I lived close to the beach, I would sit and watch the sunset and listen to the waves crash on the shore, trying to wash away the negativity with the wave sending them out to sea while I tried and catch the positivity from the wave crashing onto shore’.
11. Colour! Adult colouring books are the bomb… or at least I think so! This is my favourite colouring book.
12. Pick up the telephone and talk to someone. You’ll thank me AFTER you’ve done it
13. Book yourself in for a pamper session. Get your hair done, get a manicure or pedicure, or maybe treat yourself to a massage! If you can afford it, hit the day spa for a whole day of pampering!
14. Pray – JoAnn
15. Go on a retreat. It’s a great way to practice self-care! There are quite a few ‘formal’ retreats these days you can check out. Or go on your own retreat! A weekend getaway could be just the retreat you need – even if it’s in a bed in a hotel room watching TV!
16. Cry your heart out. You don’t need a reason
17. Binge-watch your fave TV series
18. Hit the open road and go for a drive with the music up loud
19. Depending on the issue, a good walk, write or journal. Make a list of pros and cons if it’s a tough decision I’m faced with. Maybe go sit somewhere picturesque like the beach and sometimes, a great chat with a close friend, probably over a vino 🍷 and a good laugh 😃 – Debbie
20. Take a nap. In my opinion, naps solve almost everything!
21. Take a mental health day – even if it involves you calling in sick to take care of yourself (or to do sweet fuck all)
22. Give yourself permission to have a couch day. Housework can wait
23. Hiking, definitely! – Sahra
24. Enjoy your favourite comfort food without guilt
25. Spend time with your Mum. Because you’re never too old to need your Mum. If you don’t have a mum, borrow someone else’s!
26. As a Mum to a 5-month-old, I keep it simple, like a 10-minute cup of hot tea once she has a nap. Gives me a little time out from it all 🙂 – Shante
27. Go to a cafe and treat yourself to some coffee and cake whilst reading a trashy magazine, reading a book, people-watching, or just savouring every morsel and sip
28. Retail therapy, anyone?
29. Write your heart out. Here are some insightful journal prompts to help guide you in self-reflection.
30. Pop on the iPod and get lost in the music for a bit – Bobbi
31. Write a 99 things I love list. It’s not as hard as it sounds! I love to rewrite this every year.
32. There’s nothing quite like yoga to tune out of the myriad of thoughts and into your body
33. Sip on a cup of tea and listen to music while doing some simple drawings – Chelsea
34. Go away for the weekend. There’s nothing like a road trip or a girl’s weekend away!
35. Catch up with your girlfriends for a girl’s night out or in
36. Hit the gym for a workout
37. Take a nice long hot bath with Epsom salts – Jane
38. Clean your house from top to bottom, or choose a room to focus on
39. Play sport. It helps you focus and release any frustrations you’ve got going on. My favourite is football (soccer) – D
40. Play with your pet. It will be great self-care for them too!
41. Watch a funny movie, or if you need a good cry, a sad movie. And then there’s a good old mindless chick flick…
42. Tea with great friends for D&Ms, chocolate and hugs! 😘 – Charissa
43. Volunteer for a cause you are passionate about
44. Go through your wardrobe and throw out your old clothes, donating them to charity
45. Cook up a healthy meal chock full of veggies and hearty goodness
46. Exercise, exercise, exercise 🏃🏻🏃🏻 – NaBee
47. Watch some trashy TV
48. Have you been getting enough sleep? Go to bed early and make sure you are getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night
49. We have family time, walking along the river, which we love – Jane
50. Light some candles, incense and sit back and relax with a nice glass of wine
51. Exercise, dog walks and (can’t believe I’m admitting this guilty secret here!) some trashy ‘Real Housewives of…’ TV. None of these requires me to think and give me the perfect opportunity to de-clutter whatever I am over-analysing at the time and just be. 😊 – Lucy
52. The other thing I love doing most to clear my head is jumping on my motorbike and going for a ride – Jeremy
53. Listen to music from the good old days, whichever day they are. For me, they are the 90’s
54. Just say no. Here’s why it’s so good and how to learn to do it!
55. Allow yourself time just to be. Mindfulness is a great practice to help you learn how to ‘be’ in the now, rather than getting lost in the past or hung up on the future
56. Accept that nothing lasts forever, that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, that there is a lesson of life here and that everything happens for a reason. I also like to get a hug and a shoulder to lean on and share – Parul
57. Pull some weeds. It’s a mindless chore, but taking your frustration out on weeds can be quite therapeutic, or so I think so anyway (whilst listening to my ’90s playlist).
58. I must say my biggest go-to would be my foster dad; without him, I don’t think I would be the man I am today, my wife and her family. Without her, I don’t think I would be here, and her family accepted me for me, which helped me with my anxiety issues. I also find talking about my issues with close friends and family helps me not laps back into my depression – Jeremy
59. Watch some funny or heart-warming YouTube videos. Cats, puppies, Irish comedy. Choose your happy poison. Personally, puppies do it for me every time!
60. Clear the clutter. Be it from your mind, computer, desk, house, back patio, or shed… donate clothes to charity, shred or burn years-old paperwork, or sweep the leaves from your patio. It all helps
61. When times are tough, I tell myself, “what brings you down only makes me stronger.” I take a few deep breaths, think of the joyful things in my life, and move forward a step at a time – Jeremy
62. Paint something… artistic painting, that is. Unless you really love painting walls – D
63. Remind yourself and your partner why you got together in the first place and go on a date, even if it’s just for popcorn and a movie. Why not try to make it a regular thing? Date nights can help put the spice back into your relationship!
64. As much as we love to be connected or use our various devices and social networks to tune out and distract ourselves, being constantly connected via social media could be making us depressed. Do yourself a favour and unplug regularly. It will do you the world of good. I guarantee it!
Now, over to you. What self-care ideas can you add to the list?
Even if you add one a day, you will end up with one mighty self-care list!
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